Fred the Farmer/dialogue


 * Player: Can you tell me about the battlefield?
 * Fred the Farmer: Hmph. Yes, a great big portal appears not far from my farm and Saradomin and Zamorak come traipsing over my land, happy as you please.
 * Fred the Farmer: Bloomin' soldiers everywhere, spooking my chickens and telling everyone they should join up with some army of other.
 * Fred the Farmer: Then, without a warning, Saradomin himself plonks a war camp on top of my house. Well, I was angry, I'll tell you.
 * Fred the Farmer: So, I left a sternly written letter with the duke, and built a new house here, bringing my sheep with me.
 * Fred the Farmer: And you know what... the THING followed...
 * Fred the Farmer: The battle destroyed some other peoples houses, too, and there's a rebuilding effort going on right now to help them.
 * Fred the Farmer: Not that I needed help moving my house! Hank and Explorer Jack are too soft, in my opinion, accepting help from passing adventurers like that.

Before the Lumbridge Rebuildathon

 * Player: Can you tell me about the battlefield?
 * Fred the Farmer: Hmph. Yes, a great big portal appears not far from my farm and Saradomin and Zamorak come traipsing over my land, happy as you please.
 * Fred the Farmer: Bloomin' soldiers everywhere, spooking my chickens and telling everyone they should join up with some army of other.
 * Fred the Farmer: Then, without a warning, Saradomin himself plonks a war camp on top of my house. Well, I was angry, I'll tell you.
 * Fred the Farmer: So, I left a sternly written letter with the duke, and built a new house here, bringing my sheep with me.
 * Fred the Farmer: And you know what... the THING followed...
 * Fred the Farmer: At least they're not fighting any more though.
 * Fred the Farmer: But don't expect me to just hand you more jobs! Find your own work!

During the Battle of Lubmridge

 * Player: Can you tell me about the battlefield?
 * Fred the Farmer: Hmph. Yes, a great big portal appears not far from my farm and Saradomin and Zamorak come traipsing over my land, happy as you please.
 * Fred the Farmer: Bloomin' soldiers everywhere, spooking my chickens and telling everyone they should join up with some army of other.
 * Fred the Farmer: Then, without a warning, Saradomin himself plonks a war camp on top of my house. Well, I was angry, I'll tell you.
 * Fred the Farmer: So, I left a sternly written letter with the duke, and built a new house here, bringing my sheep with me.
 * Fred the Farmer: And you know what... the THING followed...
 * Fred the Farmer: They're still fighting it out now, over to the west. As for you, maybe you should stop lumbering about in my house and do something useful!
 * Fred the Farmer: But don't expect me to just hand you more jobs! Find your own work!