Some Like It Cold/Quick guide

Getting started

 * Talk to Chuck in Ardougne Zoo.
 * Speak to him again.

The Seal

 * After being teleported by Chuck, head West to the seals.
 * Wake up the seal that can be interacted with.
 * Choose the option about looking for a polar bear. Then ask him how he can be entertained.
 * Use the Dance or Jump for joy emote.
 * Ask him about the penguins then ask him about his band.
 * Use the boat to the Northeast.
 * Talk to Ping & Pong.
 * After receiving the items from them, do one of the following:
 * Option one: Use a crafting table in a Player-owned house to make their costumes.
 * Option two: Head to the Northeast corner of the Iceberg and right-click Jim and select 'tuxedo-time'. Head to the Northwest and investigate the avalanche of snow. Follow the main hall to the end and talk to the gate guard in the booth. After proceeding through the door, head East and then follow the Western wall in the war-room to a workbench. Craft Ping & Pong's costumes there.
 * Give Ping & Pong their costumes.
 * Take the boat back and talk to Ping & Pong.
 * Bank any items and head to the camp. (there is a deposit box option when talking to the walrus)

Prisoner of Walrus Camp

 * Talk to Teddy.
 * Talk to Larry.
 * Talk to Teddy again and then Noodle South by the gates.
 * Try to open the door to the building that the Walrus is in.
 * Take the bat in the box from the front of the building.
 * Encourage Teddy, Ping & Pong, and Bouncer to make noise by clicking on them repeatedly for a few minutes.
 * When the Walrus is outside, enter his building and steal the Egg from the table.
 * Give the egg to Larry and then talk to Teddy.
 * Talk to all six of the unnamed penguins.
 * Talk to Teddy
 * Talk to Plaza.
 * For the items:
 * Fish in the fishing hole to the Northeast for a shark tooth and a squid.
 * Take a board from the wood scrap pile North of the kitchen.
 * Search the kitchen for olive oil, popsicle tray, and a hammer.
 * Talk to Teddy and take part of his costume for cloth.
 * Search the shelves in the Southwest building for lye and a cork screw.
 * Once all of the supplies are obtained:
 * Use the lye on the olive oil.
 * Use the unmoulded soap on the popsicle tray.
 * Use the squid on the popsicle tray.
 * Use the hammer on the soap.
 * Use the ripped fabric on the board.
 * Talk to Plaza.
 * Talk to Teddy.
 * Talk to Astoria.

Reparations

 * Defeat Astoria in a game of Battlefish.
 * Tip: If Astoria exclaims, "Haha! Missed me!" That means one of his fish is one to two spaces away from the square that was targeted.(Not Accurate)
 * After defeating Astoria, head South to the circus supply building and take from the prop crate on the Northern wall.
 * Talk to teddy.
 * To repair the engine:
 * Use the bowling pin on the lever opening.
 * Use the hula hoop on the broken valve wheel.
 * Use the circus plate on the pressure gauge.
 * Use the foam finger on the pressure gauge.
 * Use the balloon on the metal wire in the inventory.
 * Use the insulated wire on the broken wires.
 * Use the cloth on the cracked pipe.

Escape

 * Talk to Teddy.
 * Note: If defeated or logged out from this point on, the seal by the rock crabs must be spoken to again.
 * Defeat the seals in Battlefish.
 * Note: For this version, the submarine will take damage and the crew must be assigned to where the repairs are needed or else the ship will likely be destroyed and the battle will be reset.
 * If you are having problems finding the seals try F6-F9, D4-G4, and H1-J1. These seem to work for many people.
 * After winning the battle, a cutscene will play.
 * Quest complete!