Thok It To 'Em/Transcript

Transcript
Skaldrun: Family is of great importance to some. It helps to give them purpose, a place in the world.

Skaldrun: Marmaros and Thok are brothers, mighty Fremennik warriors who sought glory and victory. Together, they braced the dungeons and bested monster after monster.

Skaldrun: Both would go to great lengths for the other, for, united, they were almost unstoppable...well, Thok was almost unstoppable and Marmaros helped to make sure that the obstacles in his way were suitably breakable.

Skaldrun: Our story begins with the two brothers battling a creature caught between. dimensions...

Thok: CHAAAARGE!

Marmaros: Wait a moment, you big lug, there's something strange about this room. We should take a look before we charge blindly, forwa-

Thok: Thok solve it with mighty sword!

* During invincible phase* Thok: Thok's sword not working?

* Thok: Thok smash you! Why you not bleeding?

Thok:Cheating creature! Die like you meant to!

Thok:Marm! It is not dead! Thok no understand.

* Complete a crystal phase*

Thok: Well done, brother!


 * Beat stomp*

Thok: Ha! Once again, beast no match for Thok and Marmaros!

Thok: You not agree, brother?

Marmaros: ...

Thok: Marmaros? You not agree?

Marmaros: ...

Thok: Oh no! Has beast hurt Marm?

Thok: Thok shamed! Thok failed to protect Marm.

Thok: Thok allowed harm to come to Marm.

Thok: You right, Marmaros, Thok too manly to cry at such things.

Thok: Thok will Find a way to help Marm.

Thok: Must be something deeper in the dungeon that Thok can use.

Thok: Though it means climbing down through endless dungeons.

Thok: Though it means battling countless foes...

Thok: Thok will find a way to save you, brother!

Thok: CHAAAARGE!

* Enter Door*

Thok: No, Thok not go back. Thok always go forward!

Skaldrun: Unsure of how to help his injured brother, Thok moved bravely forwards, heading deeper in through the dungeon.

Skaldrun: He faced countless monster, defeated endless foes and consumed a thousand-times his weight in raw fish; yet, still, he had further to go.

Skaldrun: Eventually, he made his way to a room guarded by a vile and terrible creature of darkness...

Thok:CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!

Thok: Thok think you didn't SEE that coming.

* SF ladder*

Thok: Thok only go forward, no need go back.

* Leave SF room*

Thok: Okay, Thok, what is your goal?

Thok: Must save Marm.

Thok: Does Thok know how to do that?

Thok: No, Thok not sure.

Thok: Maybe if Thok think like Marm?

Marmathok:Hmmmm. Maybe we should find a healer somewhere.

Thok: Aha! Thok is wise. Pretty Lass is a healer! Thok go to her.

Thok: Thank you, Thok.

Thok: No, thank you, Thok.

* Exorcise Dark Spirit*

You need a Prayer level of 10 to exorcise this spirit.

Thok: Thok not listen to angry spirit. Spirit go!

Erm...you need a Prayer level of 10...

Thok: Spirit go NOW!

Apparently you don't need a Prayer level of 10...

Thok: Spirit should know better than to disagree with Thok.

* Warriors*

Weaker than Thok: Noooo, not Thok! The strongest of all men!

Namby-pamby: Aaaeeeiiiiiii!

Namby-pamby: Get the door, get the door!

Weaker than Thok: I can't open the door!

Weaker than Thok: Wait...it won't open until we're dead?

Weaker than Thok: What kind of insane security system is that?

* ferret room*

Thok: What is that horrible beast? GET IT AWAY!

Thok: That room is...uh...too weak for Thok to go through. Thok find other way round.

* Try to enter ferret room again*

Thok: Thok does not need to go in there. Thok find other way round.

* fish bubbling water*

Thok: Ah, Thok found tasty fish!

As Thok tries to eat the crab, it fights back with surprising skill.

Thok: Ah, this no tasty fish! This fish-warrior!

Thok: Perhaps you can be Thok's Mini-Marm for this dungeon. Together we will crush all our enemies.

Mini-Marm clicks his pincers in agreement and readies himself for battle.

* Talk to Mini-Marm*

Thok: So, Mini-Marm, do these monsters stand a chance against the mighty Thok?

The crab sits there for a moment, before giving Thok a darting stare.

Thok: You are right. Thok sorry. Do these monsters stand a chance against the mighty Thok and Mini-Marm?

The crab readies itself in a battle pose, claws raised and sharpened for combat.

The crab stares ahead, its eyes narrowed and wary.

Thok: what is it, Mini-Marm?

The crab makes a clicking noise and lowers itself, pincers raised.

Thok: Do not fear the dungeon monsters, Mini-Marm, they are easily crushed by Mighty Thok. Oh, and cut to ribbons by Mini-Marm's deadly pincers.

The crab seems to nod and draws itself up to its full height, ready for the battles ahead.

Thok: Mini-Marm, you are brave warrior. Are there more like you in Daemonheim?

The crab sits and looks up at Thok. Its tiny eyes seem to tell of mighty crab ancestors that have lived within the ponds of Daemonheim: a great history of crabs as brave and nobles as the Fremennik themselves.

Thok: Ah, good! Thok happy to know that there great tradition of warriors down here.

The crab seems to nod in agreement.

Thok: Are you okay in there, Mini-Marm?

The crab looks up at Thok with an expression of deep irritation.

Thok: You are right. Thok sorry. Thok know you are not worried by anything. The crab clicks softly, accepting Thok's apology for underestimating its survival skills.

Thok: So, Mini-Marm, tell me of the great battles you have fought in.

The crab seems to think for a moment before giving Thok a poignant look, clicking hurriedly.

To Thok, each click speaks of a great battle against deadly eels and bovimastyx ankles.

Thok: Mini-Marm is mighty warrior indeed; perhaps I should have called you 'Mini-Thok'.

* Silver crescent obelisk room*

Thok: Aha! A puzzle Thok can do! Marm would be proud!

The crab leaps in the air excitedly.

Thok: What is it Mini-Marm? Have you seen mead?

The crab shakes its head, opening a pincer to reveal a neatly sliced insect.

Thok: Mini-Marm's reflexes are quick and nimble! Thok impressed.

The crab click happily.

* Finish Obelisk Room*

Thok: These puzzles not so hard. Don't know why Marm make big deal out of them.

* Look-at Ice Block*

Thok: Hrm, this oddly shaped ice.

Thok: It is obviously nothing to bother Thok about. Thok leave alone.

* sag*

Thok: Ah, Thok remember this coward. Thok thinks coward should fight with sword or fists, not behind a twangy stick.

* beat sag*

Thok: Ha, now Thok tie you up in a BOW.

The crab looks at you with what could be described as a raised eyebrow.

Thok: Okay, it not one of Thok's best lines.

* Reach Home*

Mini-Marm stares into the dungeons ahead, contemplating.

Thok: You are much like Marm, Mini-Marm. Are you thinking of how to clear a path through our enemies? Or how to solve a puzzle?

The crab takes a look at the door, ponders for a moment and then kicks it. The door swings a jar slightly. Mini-Marm seems to conclude that the puzzle is now solved.

* use Rune altar no essence*

Thok: What Thok do with this table? It not good for eating hearty meal.

* pick up rune ess*

Thok: Huh? What is this? Can Thok eat it?

* end-saga Dungeon Exit*

Skaldrun: I don't believe that climbing these stairs is part of our tale. If you leave now, the story leaves with you. Shall I end our tale?

* Use smelter*

Thok: How does Thok use this again? Marm do this normally.

Thok: What did Marm do?

Thok: Marm put crumbly stuff in and got metal bricks out.

Thok: Where Thok find crumbly stuff?

* use prom ore in smelter*

Thok: So, Thok put crumbly stuff in flame and wait?

Thok: Why no metal bricks? Fire Faulty.

* Fee-Thok Farm Patch*

Thok: Feed Thok!

Nothing interesting hap...

Thok: Feed Thok, or he will get angry!

* Reject Farm patch*

Thok: This food not meat.

Thok: Thok sad.

* Take Farm Patch*

Thok: Bah! farming take too long. Thok grab all at once.

* enter Ramokee Room*

Thok: Ah, it is my Pretty Lass and her friends.

Thok: No, wait, that not Pretty Lass! She look different, not as nice.

Thok: Oh, Pretty Lass told Thok about these: they are enemies of Pretty Lass. Thok will smash them for his Pretty Lass

* Leave Ramokee Room*

The crab scuttles off.

Thok: Farewell, Mini-Marm, you were a brave warrior.

The crab scuttles back, its pincers drenched in blood.

Thok: Mini-Marm is back and Thok see you have defeated a deadly foe!

The crab clicks happily and displays the head of a ferret.

Thok: Mini-Marm is Thok's hero.

* Talk-to Thok-blocker*

Thok-blocker: Wanderer, your moments are as uncertain as a fledgling in first-flight. Are you lost?

Thok: You in Thok's way. Move out of Thok's way.

Thok-blocker: Ah, not until you have proven yourself of keen mind, fair wanderer.

Thok: What you call Thok?

Thok-blocker: Uh, answer me this riddle and I will let you pass.

Thok-blocker: 'The blunt Force I provide is surprisingly constructive.'

Thok: Thok know this. It Thok's fists.

Thok-blocker: Good guess adventurer, but it is not...

Thok: No, answer is Thok's fists. Should Thok show you?

Thok-blocker: There really is no need for...

Thok: ...

Thok-blocker: Why yes...you're right, Thok's fists are the answer to my riddle.

Thok: Thok's fists always the right answer!

* rift splitter*

Thok: This guy think he scary. Thok had scarier toys as a child.

Thok: Course, Thok's toys were crushed enemies, so Thok should not judge harshly.

* beat rift splitter*

Thok: Thok think you shouldn't have PORTAL your effort into silly tricks.

* tile room*

Thok: Huh? What is this room for? Why they have silly tiles on floor?

Thok: Oh no. Thok remember this stupid puzzle from when Marm did it. Said it had to do with making tiles all look same.

* Imbue a few tiles*

Thok: Ha! these silly tiles not so bad. They tickle!

* rammernaut*

Thok: Ah, Thok remember this warrior. He strong, but not as strong as Thok.

* beat rammernaut*

Thok: Thok should CHARGE you for fighting lesson!

* Bulwark beast*

Thok: Ah, Thok remember this beast. Marm had to help Thok defeat it, as Thok's sword wasn't working properly at the time.

* Beat Bulwark beast*

Thok: Thok hope you didn't MINED such a defeat.

* Gulega*

My Pretty Lass: No, stay away vile creature!

Thok: No one lays a hand on Thok's Pretty Lass and lives! CHAAAAAARGE!

* Talk to healer during fight*

Pretty Lass: Churra! There is no time to talk with this thing here!

* Beat Gulega*

Thok: Bet you feel like a FOOL-EGA now!

* Talk to Healer*

Pretty Lass: Thank you, Thok Bloodrager. I am unsure that I would have taken care of that gulega on my own.

What Thok thinks he is saying.

Thok: You make Thok happier than a keg of malted beer, Lass. Thok could not let anything squish you.

What Thok actually said.

Thok: Erm...*mumble mumble* no problem * mumble*...er...*mumble*you pretty?

Pretty Lass: I am not sure what you are saying, Thok Bloodrager, but the help was appreciated all the same.

Pretty Lass: You have come alone? Where is Marmaros Hoardstalker to translate for you?

[Give her the trophies you have collected]

What Thok thinks he is saying.

Thok: Thok gutted pitiful monsters that dared to stand in way. Thok give trophy to you as gift. Not as good as hearty meal and lake of mead, but Thok hopes you like it.

What Thok actually said.

Thok: *Erble*...pretty, got their heads...*incoherent mumble*...I like your hair...

Pretty Lass: Brah, I...I cannot heal these creatures: there's simply not enough of them left!

[Tell her about Marmaros]

What Thok thinks he is saying.

Thok: Marmaros has been injured, like unicorn in hunting season.

What Thok actually said.

Thok: *mumble* Squishy! *mumble* Marmaros hurt! *mumble*

Pretty Lass: Churra! Oh, poor Marmaros Hoardstalker!

Lead me to him, Thok Bloodrager, I will do what I can.

[Take her to Marmaros]

Pretty Lass: There, I have done what I can. He must let the wound heal.

Thok: *whimper* Marmaros okay? *Incoherent mumbling* Thank you...

Pretty Lass: You are welcome, Thok Bloodrager, I have done what I can.

Pretty Lass: His leg will need more than my skill; ideally he would have something to use as a splint, and something to numb the pain. Something cold.

Thok: Something cold? Thok know just the thing! CHAAAAARGE!

Skaldrun: And charge he did. Thok wended his way upwards through the dungeon, leaving a trail of devastation in his wake.

Skaldrun: Eventually, he made it to the frozen levels of the dungeon, and found 'something cold' to tie to Marmaros's injured leg.

* beat icefiend*

Marmaros: You don't expect me to believe all of that, do you?

Thok: Oh, tiny brother, why do you doubt Thok?

Marmaros: Well, do you expect me to believe that there were so many powerful monsters on one dungeon floor?

Thok: Why would Thok lie?

Marmaros: Maybe not lie, but perhaps exaggerate a bit.

Marmaros: I'm not ungrateful: the wound is your side tells me that you went through a lot. I just wonder why you need to embellish the tale to me, of all people.

Thok: Thok only tell you what happened. It up to you if you believe or not.

Marmaros: anyway, let's focus on the now. There are rooms full of monsters, and we need to plan carefully for...

Thok: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!

Skaldrun: Marmaros and Thok continued their adventure down the dungeons of Daemonheim. True to their word, they slaughtered countless monsters and bested every puzzle thrown at them... Well, Marmaros solved all the puzzles:

Skaldrun: Thok's puzzle-solving involved hitting them until they submitted.

Skaldrun: Marmaros never fully believed Thok's version of events, but only Thok really knew if it was true.

Skaldrun: I know, of course, but I tell whichever version makes for a better story...