Marimbo/dialogue

During Cabbage Facepunch Bonanza

 * If unaligned
 * Marimbo: Hey! Hey you! Come and join the party! Just see the gardener there and tell him you want to join my side.
 * If aligned with the Godless (male)
 * Marimbo: Goodness! Another handsome Godless hunk? At this rate I might join up myself!
 * If aligned with the Godless (female)
 * Marimbo: I see you've joined Team Shirtless to be near Holstein. I don't blame you!
 * If aligned with Brassica Prime
 * Marimbo: Oooh, look everyone! A veggie! Hey there leaf-face, having fun down there?
 * If aligned with Marimbo
 * Marimbo: Keep up the good work! Not that it matters much but we've got that cabbage on the run.
 * Marimbo: But he can't run, can he? On the roll. We have the cabbage on the roll.
 * Marimbo: Cabbage roll...is that a type of food? I'm hungry now. Someone bring me a cabbage roll!
 * Player: Who are you?
 * Marimbo: I'm Marimbo! Hooray for me!
 * Marimbo: Grab a drink and I'll tell you a little bit about myself.
 * Marimbo: You see, I'm the goddess of having a good time. And monkeys. Because it really isn't a party until there are monkeys.
 * Marimbo: And drinking and good food and music, of course. But still... monkeys!
 * Marimbo: Some people call me a hedonist, but that's a little harsh.
 * Marimbo: Hedonists really only care about having fun themselves. I'm all about everyone having fun!
 * Marimbo: Anyway, I was here last time all this fighting happened. I've been away partying ever since.
 * Marimbo: But now I'm back! So we can start having fun again!
 * Marimbo: Speaking of which, where's your drink? Where's my drink?
 * Marimbo: Drinks all round!
 * Player: How did you become a goddess?This option only appears if another has been selected first
 * Marimbo: You know what? I can't remember.
 * Marimbo: I have a strange dream sometimes that I was just an average giant monkey in a vast jungle full of giant monkeys.
 * Marimbo: I can't remember the name of the place, but the whole world was a jungle, and giant monkeys like we were in charge.
 * Marimbo: We weren't smart or anything. We were just animals. Swinging in trees, eating each other's lice. The usual.
 * Marimbo: Then one day I just 'woke up'.
 * Marimbo: There was a statue nearby that turned out to be a dead god. And a huge, empty wine barrel.
 * Marimbo: Someone later told me he was a god of hedonism too. He was on a trawl of different worlds, challenging mortals to drinking contest for a bit of lark.
 * Marimbo: So when he found out about a world of giant monkeys he went there in a flash, grabbed me and started dishing out the booze.
 * Marimbo: It's a pity I never got to know him. Everything I found out was from his followers, who were all in mourning.
 * Marimbo: So I thought 'Marimbo, let's cheer these guys up', and called for more wine.
 * Marimbo: Everyone perked right up once we cracked open a new barrel, I can tell you.
 * Marimbo: It's a shame I lost that drinking horn. The Fancy one with all the sparkles. I wonder where it went?
 * Marimbo: When we were done they proclaimed me the new god of having a good time. And since that meant enjoying myself all day, who was to argue?
 * Marimbo: It could be worse. They could have wanted me to be the god of indigestion or back pain. This is a sweet gig!
 * Player: Tell me about your followers.
 * Marimbo: Urgh, do you think I keep a list or something?
 * Marimbo: I don't mind who turns up, so long as they have fun, you know.
 * Marimbo: If you have to write all this down, then you can start with monkeys. I mean, it's pretty obvious.
 * If Monkey Madness is complete
 * Marimbo: And I'm counting YOU as a monkey too.
 * Marimbo: Don't think I didn't see you turn into a monkey that one time.
 * Player: I don't know what you mean.
 * Marimbo: Oh relax! Turning into a monkey is no bad thing. I've seen people turn into far worse in my time.
 * Marimbo: Then you have anyone who wants to have a good time. Not in a bad way, so bandits and bullies can get out.
 * Marimbo: Anyone else who lives to eat and drink and make merry can join the party if they want. I'm easy!
 * Marimbo: Oh, and anyone who has ever drunk that Braindeath 'rum' stuff and survived. I'm thinking of making them saints.
 * Marimbo: I don't know what's in it, but it kicks like a mule.
 * Player: Why should I follow you?
 * Marimbo: Follow me? Follow me where? I'm not moving.
 * Marimbo: Well, the world is spinning a little... maybe a little food will settle my stomach.
 * Player: No, I mean, why should I follow you in this event?
 * Marimbo: Oh that! Well we have cool monkey capes and stuff.
 * Marimbo: Plus we have the best food.
 * Brassica Prime: Lies! Lies and heresy! My forces form the most delicious and nutritious faction!
 * Marimbo: Shove it in your roots, veggie!
 * Brassica Prime: Choke on a banana, monkey-features!
 * Marimbo: Now that sounds like a very good idea! Cheers, Brassica!
 * Marimbo: Sorry, what were you saying?
 * Player: Why are you fighting Brassica?
 * Marimbo: Fighting? We're not fighting!
 * Marimbo: This is a party! We're having fun!
 * Player: But won't one of you have to die after this?
 * Marimbo: Pfft, you think I want the Orb of Jazz, or whatever that thing is?
 * Marimbo: I don't really care about that at all. Fun and good times, that's my philosophy.
 * Marimbo: Let Stick-in-the-mud-domin and Zamo-grump play Sliske's game. We're just going to have a party!
 * Player: What if one of them claims the stone?
 * Marimbo: Then I'll still have a good time!
 * Marimbo: I mean, I might take my followers away if things start to get rough.
 * Marimbo: The last God Wars were not fun at all. If it gets that bad then I'll probably take my monkeys - and anyone else who wants to come - and go elsewhere.
 * Marimbo: People think I'm just some dumb monkey. They underestimate me, and don't know how far I'd go for my friends.
 * Marimbo: If anyone goes after Ape Atoll they'll find it empty. All my monkey friends will be with me, laughing in the warring gods' stupid faces.
 * Player: That's everything.
 * Marimbo: Have fun!