Bard Roberts/dialogue

1. Who are you?


 * Player: Who are you?
 * Bard Roberts: Arr, the name be Bard Roberts, an' me companion here be Stanky Morgan. Pleased to meet ye!
 * Stanky Morgan: Ecstatic.
 * Player: So, what do you do?
 * Bard Roberts: I play music an' sing, mostly. Ye can sit down and rest a while, if ye like.
 * Bard Roberts: Oh! It's ye, Player! Tales of yer heroism among the pirates has spread far an' wide. I've knocked up a little shanty about ye, if ye have time fer it?

1.1. How could I refuse?


 * Player: How could I refuse?
 * Stanky Morgan: Easily, Player. Ye just say 'no'. Too late now, though. Thanks a bunch.
 * Bard Roberts: Aha! Time fer a shanty! Which of yer adventures shall I regale ye with, Player?
 * Stanky Morgan: Here we go again...

1.1.1. Pirate's Treasure.


 * Player: Can you sing about the time I found the pirate's treasure?
 * Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.

1.1.1.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(The following text is singed by Bard Roberts outside the chatbox)


 * Bard Roberts: Oh, Frank's love of o'erproof rum,
 * Bard Roberts: Proved to be quite the conundrum,
 * Bard Roberts: 'Cause those custom sorts,
 * Bard Roberts: Banned it from exports,
 * Bard Roberts: So poor Frank was sober 'n' glum!
 * Bard Roberts: In a crate filled up with 'nanas,
 * Bard Roberts: But devoid of all sultanas,
 * Bard Roberts: The rum ye concealed,
 * Bard Roberts: And the crate ye sealed,
 * Bard Roberts: And smuggled it off Karamja!
 * Bard Roberts: Well, ye sailed back to Port Sarim,
 * Bard Roberts: And ye got a job from Wydin.
 * Bard Roberts: With yer apron ties,
 * Bard Roberts: Ye reclaimed yer prize,
 * Bard Roberts: From the crate it got dropped off in!
 * Bard Roberts: With his rum, Frank were elated,
 * Bard Roberts: His alcohol cravings sated.
 * Bard Roberts: He showed ye the mark,
 * Bard Roberts: In Falador Park,
 * Bard Roberts: Where the treasure were located!

1.1.1.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)

1.1.2. Rum Deal.


 * Player: Can you sing about the time I got a rum deal from Cap'n Braindeath?
 * Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.

1.1.2.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(The following text is singed by Bard Roberts outside the chatbox)


 * Bard Roberts: Pirate Pete told ye a tall tale,
 * Bard Roberts: Of a demon on which to wail,
 * Bard Roberts: But 'twas all a test,
 * Bard Roberts: A made-up request,
 * Bard Roberts: Afore the truth he could unveil!
 * Bard Roberts: To the Braindeath Isle ye travelled,
 * Bard Roberts: By the business-end o' paddle,
 * Bard Roberts: Zombie pirate drunks,
 * Bard Roberts: With 'rum'-ridden funks,
 * Bard Roberts: And yer sanity unravelled!
 * Bard Roberts: Braindeath revealed his conundrum,
 * Bard Roberts: As a task 'twas nothing humdrum,
 * Bard Roberts: Make a vile brew,
 * Bard Roberts: Use it to subdue,
 * Bard Roberts: Zombies picketing the 'rum'-run!
 * Bard Roberts: So, ye brewed it like ye oughta,
 * Bard Roberts: Using squids, slugs, stagnant water,
 * Bard Roberts: Got the zombies drunk,
 * Bard Roberts: Their blockade debunked,
 * Bard Roberts: Nay more brewers to the slaughter!

1.1.2.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)

1.1.3. Cabin Fever.


 * Player: Can you sing about the time me and Bill had a case of cabin fever?
 * Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.

1.1.3.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(The following text is singed by Bard Roberts outside the chatbox)


 * Bard Roberts: At the Green Ghost in Phasmatys,
 * Bard Roberts: Ye had offered yer help gratis.
 * Bard Roberts: Bill Teach were his name,
 * Bard Roberts: Sailing were his game,
 * Bard Roberts: But he lacked the apparatus!
 * Bard Roberts: 'Twas nay a ship he was lackin',
 * Bard Roberts: But his crew had all gone packin'.
 * Bard Roberts: Bill's men had all fled,
 * Bard Roberts: Filled with fear 'n' dread,
 * Bard Roberts: Of his enemies attackin'!
 * Bard Roberts: With ye as his crew instated,
 * Bard Roberts: Bill's fears chemically abated,
 * Bard Roberts: Ye and he set sail,
 * Bard Roberts: Him certain ye'd fail,
 * Bard Roberts: He believed yer trip ill-fated!
 * Bard Roberts: When the enemy descended,
 * Bard Roberts: Yer performance were most splendid,
 * Bard Roberts: Ye pilfered their loot,
 * Bard Roberts: Sank their ship te boot,
 * Bard Roberts: Yon Adventurous defended!

1.1.3.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)

1.1.4. The Great Brain Robbery.


 * Player: Can you sing about the time I thwarted the Great Brain Robbery?
 * Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.

1.1.4.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(The following text is singed by Bard Roberts outside the chatbox)


 * Bard Roberts: On Mos'Le Harmless by the sea,
 * Bard Roberts: Ye met Brother Tranquil-i-ty,
 * Bard Roberts: He asked a favour,
 * Bard Roberts: From someone braver,
 * Bard Roberts: For his brothers on Har-mo-ny.
 * Bard Roberts: Thanks te zombie pirate Sorebones,
 * Bard Roberts: They hit ye w' gas,
 * Bard Roberts: But yer ward held fast,
 * Bard Roberts: Ye escaped meetin' Davey Jones!
 * Bard Roberts: Just east of the Slayer Tower,
 * Bard Roberts: Was a surgeon who did cower,
 * Bard Roberts: You made Fenk-en-strain,
 * Bard Roberts: Transplant the monks' brains,
 * Bard Roberts: For freedom from lupine glower!
 * Bard Roberts: Mi-Gor tried to stop your heart's pace,
 * Bard Roberts: Yer foe's arm: part anchor, part mace,
 * Bard Roberts: Struck without delay,
 * Bard Roberts: But him ye did slay,
 * Bard Roberts: Made him look a total...
 * Bard Roberts: ...moron.

1.1.4.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)

1.1.5. Rocking Out.


 * Player: Can you sing about the time me and Young Ralph were rocking out?
 * Bard Roberts: Aye, Player! I certainly can!

This cutscene is roughly one minute long and, once started, cannot be cancelled.

1.1.5.1. Yes!

(The shanty cutscene begins)

(The following text is singed by Bard Roberts outside the chatbox)


 * Bard Roberts: In Jack ye were in-ter-ested,
 * Bard Roberts: So, you got yerself arrested,
 * Bard Roberts: To hear Ralph's remarks,
 * Bard Roberts: But he wanted marks,
 * Bard Roberts: From five captains tried and tested!
 * Bard Roberts: So, fer Bill ye claimed a treasure,
 * Bard Roberts: A new hand were Harry's pleasure,
 * Bard Roberts: And fer Braindeath's role,
 * Bard Roberts: Got a drinking hole,
 * Bard Roberts: To sell his 'rum' by the measure!
 * Bard Roberts: Stole a brooch for Izzy No-Beard,
 * Bard Roberts: And for Frank confirmed what he feared,
 * Bard Roberts: Proved that Jack was back,
 * Bard Roberts: And on the attack,
 * Bard Roberts: To secure a mark from Redbeard.
 * Bard Roberts: With the marks, ye heard the story,
 * Bard Roberts: Bloody, vi-o-lent and gory,
 * Bard Roberts: Of hos Jack were beat,
 * Bard Roberts: And we sunk his fleet,
 * Bard Roberts: For a short-lived age of glory!

1.1.5.2. No, I need to change my audio settings.

(Closes dialogue)

1.2. Not right now, thanks.


 * Player: Not right now, thanks.
 * Bard Roberts: Come and see me again if ye changed yer mind.
 * Stanky Morgan: Thank ye, Player. Ye've spared us all agony.
 * Bard Roberts: Shut it, Stanky!

2. Can I ask you some questions about resting?

2.1. How does resting work?


 * Player: So, how does resting work?
 * Stanky Morgan: What do ye mean, 'how does resting work'? Rest an' work are opposing concept: restin' don't work. Ye get tired, ye sit down, ye regain yer energy. No work involved.
 * Bard Roberts: What Stanky means is, choose the rest option on yer run button to start restin'.
 * Bard Roberts: When ye rest, ye'll recharge run energy an' life points faster than normal.
 * Bard Roberts: Restin' by a musician such as mesel-
 * Stanky Morgan: Huh! Musician? That be charitable.
 * Bard Roberts: Restin' by a musician such as meself will have a similar but more potent effect.

2.2. What's special about resting by a musician?


 * Player: What's special about resting by a musician?
 * Bard Roberts: Music soothes the mind an' relaxes ye, Player. Restin' by a musician will restore yer energy an' life points even faster than restin' anywhere else.

2.3. Can you summarise the effects for me?


 * Player: Can you summarise the effects for me?
 * Bard Roberts: Choose rest on yer run button te sit down. Yer life points an' energy will come back faster. If yer near enough te a musician, such as me'self, they'll come back even faster still.

2.4. That's all for now.


 * Player: That's all for now.
 * Bard Roberts: Come back soon, Player!
 * Stanky Morgan: Or don't, preferably.

3. Can I ask you some questions about running?


 * Player: Can I ask you some questions about running?
 * Stanky Morgan: No.
 * Player: Can I ask YOU some questions about running, Bard?
 * Bard Roberts: Aye, Player. Course ye can.
 * Player: Why do I need to run anyway?
 * Bard Roberts: Te get where yer goin' twice as fast was walkin', fer a start! And te escape from a fight faster if ye happen to be losin'.
 * Player: Can I keep running forever?
 * Stanky Morgan: What kind of question be that? Ye can't do anythin' forever, Player. Ye'd be dead afore then.
 * Bard Roberts: Stanky! No, ye can't. Ye'll run outta breath after runnin' for a time. Ye'll need to catch it before ye can run again.
 * Bard Roberts: If yer walkin' or standin' around, yer energy'll come back slowly. If yer restin', it'll come back quicker.

''You may start running by clicking once on a run button attached to your minimap. It has an icon of a boot. Clicking the run button a second time will switch you back to walking. The button will tell you how much run energy you currently have.''

4. That's all for now.


 * Player: That's all for now.
 * Bard Roberts: Come back soon, Player!
 * Stanky Morgan: Or don't, preferably.