Goblin Diplomacy/Transcript

Starting Out
General Wartface – Green armour best.

General Bentnoze – No, no, red every time.

General Wartface – Go away, human, we busy.

Player – Why are you arguing about the colour of your armour?

Bentnoze – We decide to celebrate goblin new century by changing colour of our armour, brown get boring after a bit. We want change.

Wartface – Problem is they want different change to us.

Player -


 * Wouldn't you prefer peace?



Wartface '''– Yeah peace is good as long as it peace wearing green armour.


 * Bentnoze – But green too much like skin. Nearly make you look naked!


 * Do you want me to pick an armour colour for you?


 * Wartface – Yea as long as you pick green.



Bentnoze – No you have to pick red!

Player -


 * You should wear red


 * Bentnoze – See? Even stupid human think red best. Now we all wear red!


 * Wartface – Human not know anything! If we wear red then whole village be ugly like YOU!


 * Bentnoze – Go away human. You not helping.
 * You should wear green


 * Wartface – Green! We all wear green now, human has decided!



Bentnoze – Why we have to do what human say? He not boss of us!


 * Wartface – No but he agree with me!



Bentnoze – That prove you a filthy human-lover!


 * Wartface – Me hate humans! This human just happen to be right!


 * Bentnoze – Go away human. You not know anything.

What about a different colour?

Player – What about a different colour? Not green or red?

Bentnoze – That would mean me wrong ... but at least Wartface not right!

Wartface – Me dunno what that look like. Have to see armour before we decide.

Bentnoze – Human! Bring us armour in new colour!

Wartface – What colour we try? Bentnoze – Orange armour might be good.

Wartface – Yep bring us orange armour.

Agent Orange
Player – I have some orange armour here.

Wartface – Grubfoot!

Grubfoot – Yes General Wartface sir?

Wartface – Put on this armour! Grubfoot – What do you think?
 * Grubfoot goes into the changing room. *
 * and emerges wearing orange armour.

Wartface – No I don't like that much.

Bentnoze – It clashes with skin colour.

Wartface – We need darker colour, like blue.

Bentnoze – Yeah blue might be good. Wartface – Human! Get us blue armour!

Agent Blue
Player – I have some blue armour here.

Wartface – Grubfoot!

Grubfoot – Yes General Wartface sir?

Wartface – Put on this armour! Grubfoot – What do you think?
 * Grubfoot goes into the changing room. *
 * and emerges wearing blue armour.*

Bentnoze – That not right. Not goblin colour at all.

Wartface – Goblins wear dark earthy colours like brown.

Bentnoze – Yeah brown might be good.

Wartface – Human! Get us brown armour!

Player – I thought that was the armour you were changing from. Never mind, anything is worth a try.

Agent Brown
Player – I have some brown armour here.

Wartface – Grubfoot!

Grubfoot – Yes General Wartface sir?

Wartface – Put on this armour! Grubfoot – What do you think?
 * Grubfoot goes into the changing room. *
 * and emerges wearing brown armour.*

Wartface – That colour quite nice. Me can see myself wearing that.

Bentnoze – It a deal then. Brown armour it is.

Wartface – Thank you for sorting out our argument. Take this gold bar as reward!