Creature of Fenkenstrain/Transcript

Job Posting
 ' --- Braindead Butler Wanted --- Gravedigging skills essential – Hunchback advantageous See Dr. Fenkenstrain at the castle NE of Canifis ' 
 * The signpost has a note pinned onto it. The note says:

The Interview

 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Have you come to apply for the job?
 * Player: Yes, if it pays well.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I'll have to ask you some questions first.
 * Player: Okay...
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: How would you describe yourself in one word?
 * Player: Stunning.
 * Player: Awe-inspiring.
 * Player: Breathtaking.
 * Player: Braindead.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Mmmm, I see.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Just one more question. What would you say is your greatest skill?
 * Player: Combat.
 * Player: Magic.
 * Player: Cooking.
 * Player: Grave-digging.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Mmmm, I see.
 * [If you answered the questions correctly]:
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Looks like you're just the [man/woman] for the job! Welcome aboard!
 * Player: Is there anything you'd like me to do for you, sir?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Yes, there is. You're highly skilled at grave-digging, yes?
 * Player: Err...yes, that's what I said.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Excellent. Now listen carefully. I need you to find some...stuff...for me.
 * Player: Stuff?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: That's what I said...stuff.
 * Player: What kind of stuff?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Well...dead stuff.
 * Player: Go on...
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I need you to get me enough dead body parts for me to stitch together a complete body, which I plan to bring to life.
 * Player: Right...okay...if you insist.
 * Player: No.


 * Player: Do you know where I could find body parts?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: The soil of Morytania is unique in its ability to preserve the bodies of the dead, which is one reason why I have chosen to carry out my experiments here. I recommend digging up some graves in the local area. To the south-east you will find the Haunted Woods; I believe there are many graves there. There is also a mausoleum on an island west of this castle. I expect the bodies that are buried there to be extremely well preserved, as they were wealthy in life.
 * Player: What do you want me to do again?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I need you to get me enough dead body parts for me to stitch together a complete body, which I plan to bring to life.
 * Player: Right...okay...if you insist.
 * Player: Why do you want to make a creature?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I came to the land of Morytania many years ago, to find a safe sanctuary for my experiments. This abandoned castle suited my purposes exactly.
 * Player: What were you experimenting in?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Oh, perfectly innocent experiments – for the good of mankind.
 * Player: Then why did you need to come to Morytania?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Enough questions, now. Get back to your work.
 * Player: Will this creature put me out of a job?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: No, my friend. I have a very special purpose in mind for this creature.
 * Player: I must get back to work, sir.


 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: What do you think you're doing???

Grave-digging Gardener

 * Player: Can you tell me anything about Fenkenstrain?
 * Gardener Ghost: Oi could tell you a few things about old Fenky, yeah.
 * Player: Go on.
 * Gardener Ghost: Once, this castle were full o' good folk – my friends. Fenky was just the castle doctor, you know, to the lord and the castle folk. I don't know what happened to them all, but one by one they all disappeared. When they were gone a while, I went an dug graves for 'em in the forest. After a while there weren't no one left, but the lord, Fenkenstrain and meself. Old Fenky sent me into the forest to dig 'im a pit – never said what for – then would you believe it, someone chops me 'ead off.
 * Player: Did you see who did it...before...?
 * Gardener Ghost: Before oi kicked the bucket, you mean?
 * Player: Umm...
 * Gardener Ghost: Don't worry yerself. I'm not worried about bein' dead. Worse things could happen, I suppose. One thing I do know is, there ain't no lord of the castle anymore, 'cept for old Fenky. Makes ya think a bit, don't it?
 * Player: What happened to your head?
 * You feel power emanate from the Amulet of Ghostspeak and the air around you vibrates with the ghostly voice of the headless gardener.
 * Gardener Ghost: Oi was in the old 'aunted Forest to the south, diggin' a pit for moi old master, old Fenkenstrain, when would you believe it, someone chops me head off. Awful bad luck weren't it?
 * Player: Oh yes, dreadful bad luck.
 * Gardener Ghost: So oi thinks to meself, I don't needs any 'ead to be getting on with me gardenin', long as I got me hands and me spade.
 * Player: Would you show me where the place was?
 * Gardener Ghost: Well, oi s'pose oi've got ten minutes to spare.
 * Player: What's your name?
 * Gardener Ghost: Me name? It's been a moivellous long while, mate, since I had any use for such a thing as a name.
 * Player: Don't worry, I was just trying to make conversation.
 * Gardener Ghost: No, no, I can't be havin' that. I'll remember in a minute...
 * Player: Please, don't worry.
 * Gardener Ghost: Lestwit, that's it! Ed Lestwit.


 * Gardener Ghost: You need to head off to them Haunted Woods, mate.

Headless Hunt

 * Gardener Ghost: Go [direction], mate.


 * The grave says: 'Here lies Ed Lestwit – REST IN PEACE'


 * Gardener Ghost: This is the place where I met me' maker.

Limbs and Larceny

 * Which book would you like to read?
 * Men are from Morytania, Women are from Lumbridge
 * You discover some fascinating insights into the mind of the male kind.
 * Chimney Sweeping on a Budget
 * Page 26
 * that sometimes a sweep may find themselves brushless and without the funds to purchase the one tool that is most essential to their trade. What is a chimney sweep without his or her brush? In this kind of situation any normal long-handled brush might be a suitable replacement, although when attaching extensions to the handle make sure to use something sturdy like wire, otherwise a sweep may find themselves losing their brush and livelihood to the forces of gravity
 * Handy Maggot Avoidance Techniques
 * As you pull the book a hidden latch springs into place, and the bookcase swings open, revealing a secret compartment. You find an obsidian amulet in the secret compartment.
 * My Family and Other Zombies
 * The book is mildly amusing.


 * Which book would you like to read?
 * 1001 Ways To Eat Fried Gizzards
 * This book leaves you contemplating vegetarianism.
 * Practical Gardening For The Headless
 * This book has some very enlightening points to make, but you are at a loss to know how anyone without a head could possibly read it.
 * Human Taxidermy for Nincompoops
 * This book seems to have been read hundreds of times, and has scribbles and formulae on every page. One such scribble says 'None good enough – have to lock them in the caverns...'
 * The Joy of Gravedigging
 * As you pull the book a hidden latch springs into place, and the bookcase swings open, revealing a secret compartment. You find a marble amulet in the secret compartment.

Grey Matter

 * Player: Can I buy something to eat?
 * Roavar: If you've got the money, I've got a real treat for you.
 * Player: What have you got?
 * Roavar: Pickled brain, my friend. Only 50 gold to you.
 * Player: Err...pickled from what animal?
 * Roavar: Animal? Don't be disgusting, man! No, this is a human brain – only the best for my customers.
 * Player: I'll buy one, please.
 * Roavar: A very wise choice, [sir/miss]. Don't eat it all at once, savour every morsel – that's my advice to you.
 * Player: I'm afraid I'm not really hungry at the moment.

Delivering the Goods

 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I can't use this head, [Player]. It's missing the most important part – the old grey matter.


 * Player: I have some body parts for you.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Great, you've brought me some arms.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Excellent, you've brought me some legs.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Splendid, you've brought me a torso.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Fantastic, you've brought me a head.

Two Kinds of Crafts

 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Superb! Those are all the parts I need. Now to sew them together... Oh bother! I haven't got a needle or thread! Go and get me a needle, and I'll need 5 lots of thread.


 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Where are my needle and thread, [Player]?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Ah, a needle. Wonderful.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Some thread. Excellent.
 * Fenkenstrain uses the needle and thread to sew the body parts together. Soon, a hideous creature lies inanimate on the ritual table.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Perfect. But I need one more thing from you – flesh and bones by themselves do not make life.
 * Player: Really?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I have honed to perfection an ancient ritual that will give life to this creature, but for this I must harness the very power of Nature.
 * Player: And what power is this?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: The power of lightning.
 * Player: Sorry, can't make lightning, you've got the wrong [man/woman]-
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Silence your insolent tongue! The storm that brews overhead will create the lightning. What I need you to do is to repair the lightning conductor on the balcony above.
 * Player: Repair the lightning conductor, right. Can I have a break, soon? By law I'm entitled to 15 minutes every-
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Repair the conductor and BEGONE!!


 * Player: How do I repair the lighting conductor?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Oh, it would be easier to do it myself! If you find a conductor mould you should be able to cast a new one. Remember this, [Player], my experiment will only work with a conductor made from silver.

Chimney Sweeping on a Budget

 * [Two new options replace the Haunted Woods option]:
 * Player: Do you know where the key to the shed is?
 * Gardener Ghost: Got it right 'ere in my pocket. Here you go.
 * The headless gardener hands you a rusty key.
 * Player: Do you know where I can find a lightning conductor mould is?
 * Gardener Ghost: A conductor mould, you say? Let me see... There used to be a bloke 'ere, sort of an 'andyman 'e was. Did everything 'round the place – fixed what was broke, swept the chimneys and the like. He would 'ave had a mould, I imagine.
 * Player: Where is he now?
 * Gardener Ghost: E's dead, just like everyone else round 'ere... 'cept for me.

Just in Time

 * You repair the lightning conductor not one moment too soon – a tremendous bolt of lightning melts the new lightning conductor, and power blazes throughout the castle, if only briefly.

Right and Wrong

 * Player: So did it work, then?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Yes, I'm afraid it did, [Player] – all too well.
 * Player: I can't see it anywhere.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I tricked it into going up to the Tower, and there it remains, imprisoned.
 * Player: So the creature wasn't all you'd hoped, then?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: ...oh, what have I done...
 * Player: Oh, I see, we're developing a sense of right and wrong now are we? Bit late for that, I'd say.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: I have no control over it! It's coming to get me!
 * Player: What do you want me to do about it?
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Destroy it!!! Take the key to the Tower and take back the life I never should have granted!!!


 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: So have you destroyed it?!?
 * Player: Not yet.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Please, hurry – save me!!!

The Truth Exposed

 * Player: I am commanded to destroy you, creature!
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: Oh that's *hic* not very *hic* nice...
 * Player: Are you feeling okay?
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: Abso *hic* lutely. Never *buuurrp* better.
 * Player: You don't look very dangerous.
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: How *hic* do I look?
 * Player: You really don't know, do you? Have a look for yourself.
 * The creature stumbles over towards the mirror, focuses upon his reflection and...
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: AAAAARRGGGGHHHH!
 * The creature becomes instantly sober, horror all too evident in his undead eyes.
 * Player: I'm sorry. I suppose I'm partially to blame for this.
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: No – it was him I wager – Fenkenstrain – wasn't it? He's brought me back to life!
 * Player: Who are – were – you?
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: I was Rologarth, Lord of the North Coast – this castle was once mine. Fenkenstrain was the castle doctor.
 * Player: So the castle wasn't really abandoned when he found it?
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: Is that what he told you? No, no, this castle was once full of people and life. Fenkenstrain advised me to sell them to the vampyres, which – I am sad to say – I did.
 * Player: I found your brain in a jar in Canifis, so he must have sold you too.
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: Of that I will not speak. There lie memories that should rest with the dead, the living unable to bear them.
 * Player: That's it – I'm leaving this dreadful place, whether I get paid or not. Is there anything I can do for you before I leave?
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: Only one – please stop Fenkenstrain from carrying on his experiments, once and for all, so that no other poor soul has to endure suffering such as that of my people and I.


 * Player: Do you know how I can stop Fenkenstrain's experiments?
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: Take the Ring of Charos from him.
 * Player: What is this ring?
 * Fenkenstrain's Monster: It was my birthright, passed down to me through the ages, its origin forgotten. The Ring of Charos has many powers, but Fenkenstrain has bent them to his own evil purposes. Without the power of the ring, he will not be able to raise the dead from their sleep. It has one other, extremely important use – it confuses the werewolves' senses, making them believe that they smell one of their own kind. Without the ring, Fenkenstrain will be at their mercy.

Out of His Mind

 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: So have you destroyed it?!?
 * Player: Never, now that he has told me the truth!
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: Oh my, oh my, this is exactly what I feared! Why did you have to pick Rologarth's brain of all brains?!?
 * Player: I'm through working for you.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: No! I refuse to release you! You must help me build another creature to destroy this dreadful mistake!!

Lord Rologarth

 * Rologarth: How goes it, friend?
 * Player: I stole the Ring of Charos from Fenkenstrain.
 * Rologarth: I saw him climb up into the Tower to hide it. It doesn't matter – soon the werewolves will come for him, and his experiments will be forever ceased.
 * Player: Do you want the ring back? It is yours after all.
 * Rologarth: No, you keep it, my friend. Werewolves hunger for the scent of live flesh – I have no need for the ring. I have my castle back, if not my soul.

Dr. Fenkenstrain

 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: theyrecomingtogetme theyrecomingtogetme...
 * Player: It is all you deserve. Lord Rologarth is master of this castle once more. Let him protect you – if he wants to.
 * Dr. Fenkenstrain: theyrecomingtogetme theyrecomingtogetme...

Gardener Ghost

 * Player: How are you?
 * Gardener Ghost: Same as ever, mate, just getting' on with it regardless.
 * Player: Good for you...err...mate.