Royal Trouble/Transcript

Furious Penpals

 * Advisor Ghrim: Greetings, Your Royal Highness.
 * Player: How is the kingdom fairing?
 * Advisor Ghrim: Your subjects are worried about the possibility of war, but they are still happy to work for you.
 * (Normal dialogue)
 * Player: Has anything been happening in the kingdom recently?
 * Advisor Ghrim: Interesting that you should ask that, Your Royal Highness. You see, the people are worried that war will break out again. King Vargas has found himself with little to do now that you are the regent. He intended, at first, to return to adventuring. Unfortunately, we still have not had the doors to the throne room enlarged so that he can leave...
 * Player: So, what has he been doing?
 * Advisor Ghrim: He has been trying to rule once more, in your absence. However, he has once again quarrelled with the Queen of Etceteria. The two of them have been writing letters to each other, threatening to raise armies and declare war on each other once more!
 * Player: I see.
 * Advisor Ghrim: Your Royal Highness, I suggest that you deal with this matter and reconcile the two of them again. Such a quarrel is not good for Miscellania.
 * Player: Very well, I'll sort it out.
 * Advisor Ghrim: Thank you, Your Royal Highness. I suggest you talk to the prince and princess to find out more about the situation. [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand] has been asking after you. [She/He] would very much like to see you once again.
 * Player: No, I don't have the time at the moment.
 * Player: How do I manage the kingdom?
 * Player: What am I meant to be doing again?
 * Player: About the Task System...

Hatching a Plan

 * Player: Hello darling.
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: Welcome back, my dear! I'm afraid I haven't managed to find a priest for our marriage yet.
 * Player: That's a pity. Oh, Advisor Ghrim said I should talk to you and the [Prince/Princess] about recent events in the kingdom.
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: I'll ask Father if he minds us discussing this in the throne room for a while.


 * Player: Advisor Ghrim told me to talk to you about the situation in Miscellania. What has happened while I've been away?
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: It's terrible, my [darling/dear]! My father's been arguing with the Queen of Etceteria, and has managed to start a war again. It's awful that your work has been undone by such an accident.
 * Player: What do you mean, 'an accident'?
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: Well, if my father had had something to occupy him, he wouldn't have got bored and decided to argue with Queen Sigrid again.
 * Player: What would you suggest he do, then?
 * Princess Astrid: We can't have him declaring war all the time. Even if it would give us a chance to show off our military might. And I could finally show him that archery isn't a cowardly skill. If only we had an army, we could prove ourselves against the Etceterians.
 * Prince Brand: Astrid, I have an even better idea.
 * Princess Astrid: Better than archery? What is it?
 * Prince Brand: I think we should persuade our father and Queen Sigrid to marry!
 * Princess Astrid: ...What are you talking about, Brand?
 * Prince Brand: Think of the poetic irony of the situation! The best part is that I could write their wedding hymn for them. "Today is a happy day, we are getting married, Our national anthems are wonderful, won't you sing this song?"
 * Player: I'm not sure that's a good idea...
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: I think it will work.
 * [Prince Brand/Princess Astrid]: I quite agree!
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: Perhaps it's an odd idea, my [darling/dear], but since we don't have an army, we can hardly declare war...
 * Player: Are you sure it will work?
 * (If marrying Astrid)
 * Princess Astrid: I trust my brother's judgement. Though his ideas can sometimes be a little... strange.
 * Prince Brand: What was that, Astrid?
 * Princess Astrid: I'm just telling [Fremennik Name] about your poetic accomplishments.
 * Prince Brand: Oh, that's all right, then.
 * (If marrying Brand)
 * Prince Brand: Of course it will! It always happens in the ballads and stories. Two people who start out hating each other, and end up falling in love. It's a classic tale.
 * Player: That doesn't always work...
 * Princess Astrid: But we don't have an army, so it's our best hope.
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: So, will you talk to our father and Queen Sigrid, then? I'm sure you can manage to arrange it all.
 * Player: I'll give it a try. But they'll still be angry with each other, so I don't think it'll work.
 * [Princess Astrid/Prince Brand]: I'm sure you'll manage to do it, [darling/dear].

A Restless King

 * Player: Your Majesty.
 * King Vargas: What is it? You'll have to excuse me, I'm quite busy...
 * Player: What are you busy with, Your Majesty?
 * King Vargas: Affairs of state, and so on.
 * Player: I thought I was supposed to deal with those, since you appointed me Regent.
 * King Vargas: Well, there's not all that too much for me to do these days, you see. And though you do make a fine Regent, you cannot be here all the time.
 * Player: So you're still helping to rule, Your Majesty?
 * King Vargas: In a manner of speaking.
 * Player: These 'affairs of state' you're dealing with... Would these involve starting a war with Queen Sigrid?
 * King Vargas: Not exactly... Well, yes. Of course, Sigrid was the one who insulted me first. And that's the least of the kingdom's problems at the moment. Some of Frodi's barrels are missing, as are many of Magnus's crates. Leif also says he's had stacks of wood disappear. Since you're the Regent, you should investigate what has happened to these missing resources.
 * Player: Right away, Your Majesty.
 * King Vargas: I'm glad to see the kingdom in such capable hands. All you need to do for the moment is to talk to the citizens of Miscellania, and find out what has been happening. It might also be useful to interrogate the citizens of Etceteria to see what they know.
 * Player: I'm sorry, I have some other things to do.

Investigations

 * Player: King Vargas tells me that things have been going missing from the kingdom. Can you tell me anything about this?
 * Lumberjack Lief: You hadn't heard about it, Your Royal Highness? Etceterian soldiers came and demanded tithes from us. You're the only person we give any of our goods to, so we refused, and found the next day that some of our goods had been stolen.

The Other Side of the Story

 * Player: Your Majesty, do you have a moment?
 * Queen Sigrid: Incompetent! I'll give him 'incompetent'... Yes, what is it?
 * Player: I hear from King Vargas that relations between Etceteria and Miscellania are none too cordial at the moment.
 * Queen Sigrid: Of course not! That idiot Vargas has decided to take a hand in ruling Miscellania, even though he'd handed it over to you, and now he's declared war on Etceteria again! I suppose all those insults I made about his parentage can't have helped the matter... Even so, that doesn't excuse what he did to my citizens!
 * Player: What happened, Your Majesty?
 * Queen Sigrid: My citizens have told me that items of theirs have been taken, and I'm sure Vargas is behind it. Since you're the one who's supposed to be ruling Miscellania, you should sort it out.
 * Player: Of course, it's my duty.
 * Queen Sigrid: Good, good. If you talk to the citizens of Etceteria, they will tell you exactly what happened. I would find out for myself, but the pressures of ruling are immense, and I would never have the time free.
 * Player: Of course not, it's not my fault.

Further Investigations

 * Player: Excuse me...
 * Moldof: What is it?
 * Player: Queen Sigrid tells me that things have been going missing from the kingdom. Can you tell me anything about this?
 * Moldof: You don't know about it? Miscellanian soldiers came here a few days ago, saying they wanted us to pay tribute. Of course, I told them to leave. But in the morning, I found they'd stolen my quiver of arrows! They're not very valuable arrows, but I need them to do my job. Could you get them back for me?
 * Player: I'll see what I can do.

Queen Sigrid

 * Queen Sigrid: Have you talked to the citizens yet, [Fremennik Name]?
 * Player: I've talked to the Miscellanian citizens as well as the Etceterians.
 * Queen Sigrid: What exactly happened?
 * Player: The Etceterian citizens said that Miscellanian soldiers came to their houses and demanded tribute...
 * Queen Sigrid: Just as I suspected! Vargas, you treacherous snake!
 * Player: ...and the Miscellanian citizens said that the Etceterian army marched into their folds and demanded tithes!
 * Queen Sigrid: What? Now I see his plan! Vargas isn't content with simply arguing; he wants to start a war even if it means swindling his own citizens!
 * Player: Your Majest-
 * Queen Sigrid: Etceterian army? There hasn't been one for centuries! These Miscellanian soldiers of his must have disguised themselves.
 * Player: If I may-
 * Queen Sigrid: And since Vargas shouldn't even be ruling now, it's your responsibility to deal with this. The one who should sort this out is you.
 * Player: Me?
 * Player: I suppose so...
 * Queen Sigrid: It's one of the hazards of ruling a country, [Fremennik Name]. You'll get used to it.
 * Player: I suppose you're right.

King Vargas

 * King Vargas: Have you spoken to the citizens yet, [Fremennik Name]?
 * Player: I've spoken to the Miscellanian citizens, and also the Etceterians.
 * King Vargas: What did they say?
 * Player: The Miscellanian citizens said that the Etceterian army marched into their fields and demanded tithes...
 * King Vargas: What? I see. Sigrid thinks that now I've recognised Etceteria as a sovereign nation, I'll just roll over and play dead when she tries to invade, does she?
 * Player: ...and the Etceterian citizens said that Miscellanian soldiers came to their houses and demanded tribute!
 * King Vargas: And she's even started spreading rumours among her own citizens! Are there no depths to which she won't sink?
 * Player: Your Majesty...
 * King Vargas: Lying to her own people about there being Miscellanian soldiers... we don't even have an army! Which makes it all the worse, as otherwise I'd be able to invade Etceteria to save the citizens from Sigrid's depravity.
 * Player: I'm not sure that would work very well, Your Majesty.
 * King Vargas: Perhaps not, [Fremennik Name]. In any case, if there are any 'Miscellanian soldiers', they must have come from somewhere. Ask Advisor Ghrim if he knows who they might be, or where they might have come from. He's a capable advisor, so I'm sure he'll know about any suspicious people.
 * Player: I'll do that, Your Majesty.

A Voice of Reason

 * Player: King Vargas asked me to talk to you. He said you might know about the missing goods.
 * Advisor Ghrim: I'm not sure what you're implying, Your Highness.
 * Player: Er... that you could advise me where to look for them?
 * Advisor Ghrim: Ah, of course. Assuming that nobody presently living in Miscellania would have taken them, it is of course likely that someone from outside took them. The sailor who brought you here from the mainland would be the first to see any suspicious visitors. I suggest you ask him about recent arrivals to the island.

Taking a Third Option

 * Player: I'm looking for a sailor...
 * Sailor: You've found one here. Can I help you?
 * Player: The King's advisor said I should talk to you. He said there have been some suspicious people arriving recently.
 * Sailor: Well, I don't know of any suspicious people... Advisor Ghrim can be rather paranoid about these things sometimes.
 * Player: Oh. Has anyone visited the island recently, then?
 * Sailor: Nobody apart from you, and those kids from Rellekka.
 * Player: What kids from Rellekka?
 * Sailor: Five of them came over here a few weeks ago. They said they were here to see relatives in the dungeons, and they were visiting from the mainland.
 * Player: I didn't realise the King kept people in his dungeons. I didn't know Miscellania HAD dungeons.
 * Sailor: They've not been used to keep prisoners for a long time. But since the war ended, we've had more people visiting the island. Some of them decided they wanted to stay, so we've had to find somewhere for them to live... Only the weather on Miscellania is terrible, and nobody could build houses that would stand up to a strong wind. Etceteria is just the same.
 * Player: So you decided to live in the dungeons instead?
 * Sailor: Well, of course, they had to be enlarged first. There are still some dwarves working there, making more of the dungeons habitable before they move over to work in Etceteria. If you're looking for those kids from Rellekka, you'll find them in those dungeons. Why are you surprised about this, though? I thought you'd become the Regent.
 * Player: I'm still an adventurer, and I can't be everywhere in RuneScape...

Forgotten Knowledge

 * Player: Your Majesty, how do I get into the dungeons?
 * King Vargas: The dungeons? Of course, how could I have forgotten? I'm surprised I didn't tell you when you were appointed Regent.
 * Player: It's okay, the sailor explained it to me. He said that the only new arrivals on the island were some teenagers, who came from Rellekka to visit their relatives. Those relatives were living in the houses in the dungeons.
 * King Vargas: Ah, so you wish to look in the dungeons in case these new arrivals are to blame? I doubt that anyone with Miscellanian relatives would be at fault. However... There is something I need you to do in the dungeons. They are still being excavated, and the dwarven architects are finding new caves as they go. There have been reports of odd sightings in these new caves. Perhaps they are monsters, waiting to devour unwary Miscellanians... Whatever they are, I want you to look into it. You are a member of the royal family, after all, so I know I can rely on your help.
 * Player: Of course, Your Majesty.
 * King Vargas: The guard by the dungeon entrance may not recognise you, since he was only hired recently. Here, take this scroll to show that you have access to the dungeons. You'll find the entrance by the south-east corner of the palace.

Entrance

 * Guard: Sorry, [sir/ma'am], nobody's allowed down there by order of the King.
 * Player: But I'm the Regent! I order you to let me go down there.
 * Guard: You're the Regent? Well, I didn't vote for you. Sorry, [mister/miss] 'Regent', nobody can go into the dungeons without the King's say-so.
 * Player: Look, the King gave me a scroll saying I have access to the dungeons. I have it right here.
 * Guard: Let's have a look, then.
 * Player: Here you go.
 * Guard: Hmm... it all seems to be in order. All right, your Highness, you're free to go down there. Try not to be eaten by monsters.

Runa

 * Runa: Would you like to try some fine Miscellanian ale, your Royal Highness? Well, I say Miscellanian, but it's actually brewed on the mainland. Would you like to try some anyway?
 * Player: Yes, please.
 * Player: No, thank you.
 * Player: What's it like living down here?
 * Runa: The dwarves living down here spend a lot of time and money in my inn. One of them's been in here all day, and only bought one pint. Could you ask him to at least order another drink?
 * Player: I'll see what I can do.

Donal

 * Donal: What do you want?
 * Player: What are you doing down in these caves?
 * Donal: I'm waiting to work on the excavations... though I don't really want to start digging again.
 * Player: Why not? I thought digging was something dwarves were good at.
 * Donal: Not with monsters like that one in those caves. It had huge teeth and flaming red eyes, and was almost the size of the tunnel! If it attacks the town... Are you an adventurer, by any chance?
 * Player: Adventurer and Regent of Miscellania.
 * Donal: In that case, could you go and deal with that monster? I don't want to have to face it again if it attacks the town.
 * Player: Of course. Dealing with monsters is what I do best!
 * Donal: You'll need to get into the other caves first, of course. There's a crack in the wall where the others are digging, but the rocks are loose, and can fall on you if you're not careful. I can give you a mining prop to keep them from falling, if you give me a minute to find it...
 * Player: Okay, so all I have to do is get through that wall?
 * Donal: No, after that the only way you can get further is climbing up onto a high ledge, then crawling through a tunnel. But the walls are slippery... and I think I might have broken the lift when I fell off it on my way back. You'll probably need to fix the lift – I doubt you'd be able to climb.
 * Player: And the monster's behind that tunnel?
 * Donal: Somewhre behind it. I couldn't get very far, what with the flooding in the tunnel. There's some rope and some planks near the broken lift – those would probably come in handy. Ah, here's that mining prop. I knew I had it somewhere. Here you go. Good luck with fighting that monster.
 * Player: Why bother? It can't get through solid rock.

Not the First Time

 * Player: I can see the embers of a fire up ahead. Has someone else been in these caves?

More Than They Bargained For

 * Armod: What do we do now? If you hadn't got drunk in that inn, Signy, we could have stayed there for longer.
 * Signy: It wasn't just me who got drunk. You looked like you were about to puke all over the barmaid.
 * Hild: Reinn threw up anyway.
 * Reinn: I can't help it, I just have a weak stomach. You're no better, Hild. You said you knew where we were, and now look at us! We're cold, we're hungry, and now we're LOST!
 * Hild: We wouldn't have been so cold if Armod had more diary pages he'd let us use!
 * Armod: Hey! I have to write down what's happened. Otherwise father won't believe me when I tell him.
 * Signy: If your father listened to what you say, we wouldn't BE here. We'd have passed the trials and we'd be proper adults!
 * Reinn: Besides, it's not like he'll even look at the rubbish you've written in your diary.
 * Armod: If only my father would come and save us.
 * Hild: If only SOMEONE would come and save us.
 * Armod: Someone's coming!
 * Signy: Quick, let's hide!
 * Armod: What if it's the monster again? What if it's one of the townspeople? What if my father's found out what we've been doing? H-hey! Where am I going to hide?
 * Hild: Shhhh! Just pretend you're part of the scenery, or something!
 * Reinn: You're almost smart enough to make a good rock.
 * Armod: You want me to hit you?
 * Signy: Just act normal, Armod! And hurry!
 * Armod: O-okay.
 * Player: Hello there.
 * Armod: Don't bother me!
 * Player: Sorry?
 * Armod: I said, don't bother me! I'm being a rock at the moment.
 * Player: You can't be a rock. I heard you talking to people earlier.
 * Armod: What did you hear?
 * Player: Your name's Armod, isn't it? I found your diary.
 * Armod: What? How did you get it? Give it back!
 * Player: Not until you tell me what's going on.
 * Armod: Why should I tell you? We're going to do really well and show my father that we're true adults!
 * Player: What, by starting a war?
 * Armod: What the- Did you read my diary?
 * Player: Yes, all of it.
 * Armod: What are you even doing in these caves anyway? Everyone else was scared to come down here.
 * Player: Well, I'm the Regent of Miscellania. The King asked me to take a look-
 * Armod: You're the REGENT? Um, you four, I think you'd better come out now. We're in big trouble.
 * Reinn: Nice impression of a rock you did there, Armod.
 * Signy: So you're the adventurer we heard about, then. The one who married the [princess/prince].
 * Player: Yes, that's me. And you five are the people mentioned in Armod's diary, right?
 * Beigarth: Armod, you should have burnt it all.
 * Player: Did you steal those goods from the Etceterians and the Miscellanians?
 * Armod: It was Beigarth's idea, not mine! He said that if we disguised ourselves as soldiers, we could convince both the King and Queen that they were under attack. And it almost worked, too.
 * Reinn: It would have worked, if it hadn't been for that huge snake!
 * Player: ...What huge snake?
 * Reinn: We put the things we'd taken somewhere safe, so we could get them back when we made peace again. Everything was going well, until we got back to that place, and a giant sea snake had moved in! It's made a nest out of all the boxes and barrels.
 * Armod: I don't care about the plan. If you can get rid of that sea snake, we'd be really grateful to you. We can't even get out of these dungeons while it's there.
 * Hild: I agree with him. I want to go back home. It's cold here, we've got no food, and we can't go back to the town.
 * Signy: Not after we got drunk and then didn't pay our bill.
 * Armod: So, will you get rid of that sea snake?
 * Player: Of course. I was going to do that anyway.
 * Armod: Thank you so much. You've saved us from the brink of death. Could I ask you for one more thing?
 * Player: What is it?
 * Armod: PLEASE don't tell my father how badly we messed up.

Success

 * Guard: Hello down there! Are you all right?
 * Player: Who's that?
 * Guard: I'm up here, above this hole. I've thrown down a rope – you sounded like you were trapped in there.

Back to the Surface

 * Guard: I'm surprised you managed to get out of there without breaking any bones. Still, I can't let you go back down there until the Queen says it's safe.

Clearing the Air

 * Player: Your Majesty!
 * Queen Sigrid: What is it?
 * Player: I've found out what caused all these problems. A group of teenagers from Rellekka came to Etceteria to prove themselves as adults. They said they tried to start a war, which they'd then stop, and be hailed as peacemakers. They were the ones who disguised themselves as soldiers!
 * Queen Sigrid: Hmm... That explains what the citizens said about armies, I suppose. But what about the items that went missing?
 * Player: Well, there was a minor problem involving a sea snake... But I dealt with it, and got the items back.
 * Queen Sigrid: Finally, a ruler of Miscellania who's willing to do something for [his/her] neighbours. Do you have the items with you?
 * Player: Yes, I have them with me.
 * Queen Sigrid: Thank you, [Fremennik Name]. You've shown yourself to be an excellent diplomat and warrior – not a combination that comes naturally to many. My citizens would like their items back, of course. One of my guards will deal with the items for you, and you will be provided with a suitable reward. Finally... I have a letter that I would like you to give to Vargas. This war was a mistake, and I've made a formal apology.
 * Player: I'll make sure to give it to him, Your Majesty.
 * Queen Sigrid: Thank you for all your help. To show our gratitude, the woodcutters and other workers of Etceteria have pledged to add a proportion of what they produce to your treasury. Now that you've finished giving these items back, please give my letter to Vargas.


 * Player: I'm not sure I should be reading this...
 * Option 1: Go ahead and read it anyway.
 * Player: Oh, why not. I'm the Regent, after all.
 * Option 2: I shouldn't read other people's letters.

A Brighter Future

 * King Vargas: How are your investigations going, [Fremennik Name]?
 * Player: I've found the people who took the goods from your citizens!
 * King Vargas: Those Etceterian soldiers?
 * Player: They weren't Etceterian soldiers after all. They were teenagers from Rellekka who were trying to prove themselves as adults by starting a war and then bring about peace.
 * King Vargas: Why didn't they just go through the trials as usual? Unless they're the ones that the Council warned me about. Apparently some of their young 'uns are impressively useless. Still, I can't believe they'd start a war between Miscellania and Etceteria, just to show they were adults... But at least you've found the missing goods. Do you have them with you?
 * Player: I'm afraid not, Your Majesty. There were far too many for me to carry.
 * King Vargas: That's a pity. We'll have to send people down to collect them later, then.
 * Player: And I also spoke to Queen Sigrid of Etceteria. She gave me a letter for you, which she said was a formal apology.
 * King Vargas: Oh? Do you have this letter with you?
 * Player: Of course, Your Majesty. Here you are.
 * King Vargas: Let me see... You defeated that sea snake? Sigrid seems rather impressed with that. And the caverns underneath her palace are joined to ours, I see. She thinks we should join forces to develop them for more houses. Finally... hmm. That's not what I'd have expected from Sigrid.
 * Player: What is it, Your Majesty?
 * King Vargas: She, erm, says if I weren't a yeti, she might want to get to know me better. Since we're both warmongering fools, she thinks we'd get on well. I suppose she has a point there.
 * Player: Brand's suggestion worked, and I didn't even do anything.
 * King Vargas: What was that?
 * Player: Nothing, Your Majesty. Do you want me to give a reply to Queen Sigrid?
 * King Vargas: No, no. I'll think about it for a while. Though I'd like to tell her I'm sorry for calling her a warmongering harpy. In the meantime, [Fremennik Name], you have managed to avert a war and bring the culprits to light. The kingdom of Miscellania will have to reward you for this. I hear that the Etceterians are also grateful for your help, and have pledged some of their resources. You can talk to Ghrim to deal with those, just as before.