Rag and Bone Man/Transcript

The Odd Old Man

 * Odd Old Man: Can I help you with something?
 * Player: Well, err... who are you and what are all these bones doing here?
 * Odd Old Man: Err...
 * Sack: Mumblemumble.
 * Odd Old Man: I'm an archeologist and I work with the museum.
 * Player: An archeologist?
 * Odd Old Man: Yes.
 * Player: Well, that explains the bones - sort of - but what are you doing all the way out here?
 * Odd Old Man: Err...
 * Sack: Mumblemumble. Mumblemumblemumble.
 * Odd Old Man: I'm collecting bones for the museum. They've asked me to rig up some displays of Second and Third Age creatures, using their bones, so that people can come and, well, look at them. I need to get them into some sort of order before I begin, but I've run into a bit of a snag.
 * Player: What sort of snag?
 * Odd Old Man: Well, I need to have all the bones I'm going to use here first, then I've got to put them in some sort of order. I seem to be a few bones short of a skeleton, though.
 * Player: Where is that mumbling coming from?
 * Odd Old Man: Errr...
 * Sack: Mumblemumble.
 * Odd Old Man: What mumbling? I have enough problems of my own without having to deal with a delusional adventurer.
 * Player: Anything I could do to help?
 * Odd Old Man: Err...
 * Sack: Mumblemumble.
 * Odd Old Man: There is something you could do for me. I'm going to be busy, er ...
 * Sack: Mumble.
 * Odd Old Man: Sorting! Yes, sorting these bones out ready for the museum. I still need a few more, though.
 * Odd Old Man: Will you help me out?
 * Player: Yes, I'll give you a hand.
 * Odd Old Man: You will? Excellent!
 * Sack: Sniggersnigger.
 * Player: Where do you need me to dig?
 * Odd Old Man: Dig?
 * Sack: Mumblemumble.
 * Odd Old Man: Oh, you must have got the wrong end of the stick. I need some fresh, whole bones to replace ones that have become damaged.
 * Player: What?
 * Odd Old Man: Err...
 * Sack: Mumblemumblemumblemumblemumble. Mumblemumblemumblemumble. Mumble.
 * Player: Excuse me?
 * Sack: Shh!
 * Player: Sorry...
 * Sack: Mumblemumble. Mumblemumblemumble.
 * Odd Old Man: Okay, got it. Here's the thing: while sorting out, what bones I do have I managed to lose or damage a few. If you can get me some fresh, unbroken bones to use as replacements, then I can get on with things. Does that make things clearer?
 * Player: Well, it makes some sense I suppose...
 * Odd Old Man: Great. If you can get me a bone from a goblin, a bear, a big frog, a ram, a unicorn, a monkey, a giant rat and a giant bat, then I'll be able to move on with the, er...
 * Odd Old Man: ...displays.
 * Player: So you just want me to bring you these bones and that will be that?
 * Odd Old Man: Well, I wouldn't mind you boiling them in vinegar first, if you don't mind. There is a wine merchant in Draynor called Fortunato who sells the stuff you'll need. You can even use my pot boiler if you want.
 * Player: Why do I need to boil them in vinegar?
 * Odd Old Man: It gets them bright and sparkling white... It's an archeologist thing. Just put the bone in a pot of vinegar, throw some logs on the fire, put the pot on the boiler, then light the logs. It takes a short while for the vinegar to evaporate, but the bone will be nice and clean in the end.
 * Player: Alright, I'll be back later.
 * Odd Old Man: Bye!

The List

 * Odd Old Man: Have you brought me any bones?
 * Player: Not at the moment. Can you give me a rundown on which bones I have left to give?
 * Odd Old Man: Sure.
 * *The Sack says "Mumblemumble" repeatedly as the Odd Old Man goes over the list*
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a goblin bone. Goblins are relatively common. In fact, I hear there is a house full of them in Lumbridge.
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a bear bone. I hear there are some bears over by the Legends' guild, near Ardougne.
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a big frog bone. This one might be a little tricky. You'll need to go into the Lumbridge Swamp Dungeon. Don't forget to take a light source! Never forget your light source down there.
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a ram bone. I'm sure you will be able to find a ram wherever there are sheep.
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a unicorn bone. I seem to remember seeing some unicorns south of Varrock. I think they might still be there.
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a monkey bone. Monkeys tend to live in jungles, like those on Karamja. I think they are pretty plentiful there, if I can remember correctly.
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a giant rat bone. If you can't find one in a sewer, then you might want to try looking in some caves.
 * Odd Old Man: You still need to bring me a giant bat bone. Giant bats tend to live underground, but I have heard there are a few near the coal trucks in Kandarin.
 * Odd Old Man: Did you get all that?
 * Player: Yes, I'll get right on it.
 * Odd Old Man: Don't forget to boil them in vinegar first. Just chuck some logs into the pit, put the bone into the pot of vinegar and drop it into the pot boiler. Then light the logs and wait for the vinegar to boil away.
 * Player: Okay, I'll remember.

Fortunato

 * Fortunato: Can I help you at all?
 * Player: Have you got any vinegar?
 * Fortunato: Vinegar? Vinegar! The very idea! My wines are the finest in the district!
 * Player: Sorry, I was told to come and speak with a wine merchant about getting some vinegar. I must have the wrong person.
 * Fortunato: Wait! Did 'he' send you?
 * Player: If by 'he' you mean the old man with the sack of bones, then yes.
 * Fortunato: Ah, say no more, sir/m'lady. I have some in specially.

Finishing

 * Player: I have some bones for you.
 * Odd Old Man: Great! Let me take a look at them. That's the last of them! The museum will be thrilled to know I've completed the collection.
 * Player: Well, I'm glad I could help.
 * Sack: Mumblemumble.
 * Odd Old Man: You've been a big help and no mistake. I'm always on the lookout for fresh bones, so if you see any of the ones on my wish list, bring them right over. I have it pinned to the outside of my shack whenever you want to check it.
 * Player: No problem. I'll be sure to bring you anything you might like. I can't wait to see the displays once they are finished.