Zanik/dialogue

About Bandos...
This dialogue is available as a dialogue option in all locations.

After the Bird and the Beast

 * Player: About Bandos...
 * Zanik: Bandos is dead! Armadyl killed him - and it's thanks to you!
 * Player: It's thanks to me?
 * Zanik: His old plan was to stay out of danger and lead his forces via a puppet avatar. But we destroyed the pendant he used to control his avatar, so when the way opened for him to come back, he had to come in person or not at all.
 * Zanik: Destroying the pendant also weakened him, more than he realised. He thought he was more powerful than Armadyl, but we brought him down to the same level.
 * Zanik: Most importantly, though, we made him angry. He was defeated, not just by another god, but by mortals, and that hurt him more than you can imagine. I don't think he was capable of backing down after that.
 * Player: Will goblins go back to Yu'biusk?
 * Zanik: There's nothing for us there. Yu'biusk is dead; nothing will ever grow there again.
 * Zanik: RuneScape is our home now. We'll just have to get along with all the other races here.
 * Player: You must be happy now Bandos is gone for good.
 * Zanik: I...I wouldn't tell most people this but since it's you...
 * Zanik: I still have nightmares, sometimes, about being controlled. I'll think I'm the Chosen Commander again, leading an army of goblins and killing all these people.
 * Zanik: But than I wake up and remember it's not real, and I'm fine. Than I think about the whole world out there and all the adventures I can go on, and I'm fine. Really, I'm fine.
 * Player: What are you doing in the Sixth Age?
 * Zanik: I joined the Godless as soon as I heard Holstein's speech.
 * Zanik: All types of mortals under a common banner, standing together against the gods! It's inspiring! Like when the two of us faced Bandos, but on a global scale!
 * Zanik: But now...I'm not even sure what the Godless are doing. Kara-Meir stood by while two gods nearly destroyed Lumbridge, and again at Falador. I begged her to join Armadyl's side against Bandos, but she wouldn't listen.
 * Zanik: But we have no chance against the gods unless we work together, and the Godless are still our best shot at that. I guess I'll have to see what happens.
 * Player: Goodbye.
 * Zanik: Goodbye, Player. See you soon.

Pre-World Event 2

 * Player: About Bandos...
 * Zanik: Oh, Player, lets not talk about that now its all over.
 * Player: But is he really gone?
 * Zanik: As far as we can tell. He needed the pendant in order to control people, and with that destroyed, he can't do anything. Even if he comes back...well, we know how to fight him now. And besides...he won't come back. He was in my head, remember? I know how he thinks. He's been defeated, and not just by another god, but by mortals, and that hurts him more than you can imagine. He won't come back here and risk defeat again.
 * Player: Will goblins go back to Yu'biusk?
 * Zanik: There's nothing for us there. Yu'biusk is dead; nothing will ever grow there again. RuneScape is our home now. We'll just have to get along with all the other races here.
 * Player: How do you feel about it?
 * Zanik: I...I wouldn't tell most people this but since it's you...
 * Zanik: I still have nightmares, sometimes, about being controlled. I'll think I'm the Chosen Commander again, leading an army of goblins and killing all these people.
 * Zanik: But than I wake up and remember it's not real, and I'm fine. Than I think about the whole world out there and all the adventures I can go on, and I'm fine. Really, I'm fine.

Zanik’s Room in Dorgesh-Kaan

 * Zanik: Hello, Player.
 * Player: What have you been up to?
 * Zanik: I crossed the river into Morytania; the whole land was so gloomy and depressing. There was a whole castle full of strange creatures, and a swamp… I found this nice little town… Or at least I thought it was nice… But when I was in the bar I accidentally spilt someone’s drink, and they all turned into wolf-men!
 * Zanik: I spent some time in Keldagrim. Some of the people were nice, but I didn’t like the city so much. Everything was so industrial and it was all controlled by corporations. I ended up hanging out with this dwarf who ate a lot of kebabs. I don’t quite remember what happened after that. I think I got a bit drunk!
 * Zanik: I went and talked to Juna again, but she wouldn’t talk to me. She still says I should have helped Bandos take over Dorgesh-Kaan. She says I had no right to go against my ‘destiny’. She thinks that gods should always get what they want, just because they’re gods, and that mortals just don’t matter. I didn’t realise she thought such hateful things. We used to be such good friends… Back when the city was still cut off, I used to sit with her for hours, listening to her stories of the surface and just imagining what it was like. I can see the surface for myself now, but still, I’m going to miss that.
 * Zanik: I visited Varrock the other day. It’s such a huge city, isn’t it? Even bigger than home! There were so many people! I met a gypsy who said she could foresee the future, but she couldn’t see mine!
 * Zanik: I visited the Kharidian Desert. I’ve never seen such a big expanse of empty ground! After growing up in these confined caves, it was amazing! Just the yellow ground and the blue sky, and me in the middle. I found a ruined city where there was a man made out of clay. He said he was left over from the God Wars and he said you had repaired him.
 * Player: Goodbye.
 * Zanik: Goodbye (player's name). See you soon.

Zanik in Morytania

 * Player: Hello?
 * Zanik: (player's name)? Where are you? I can’t see you in the swamp.
 * Player: I’m contacting you by magic!
 * Zanik: I’m exploring Morytania and… Woah! I’m slipping! Wo-o-oah!
 * Player: Zanik? Are you alright?
 * Zanik: I’ve fallen in the swamp! What should I do, (player's name)?
 * Player: Grapple out with your crossbow!
 * Zanik: Okay, I’ll try that… There, the grapple’s caught on a tree. I’m climbing out… I’ve landed in a bush, and… Hey, there’s someone else here! Hey! Lumberjack! Over here! He’s turning this way, and… Oh. Uh-oh. I think he’s a zombie.
 * Player: Run for it!
 * Zanik: You don’t need to tell me twice! Ha ha ha! Zombies can’t run! Phew! I’ve lost him! I think I can see the wall of the temple here. I’m out of the swamp. Thanks for the help, (player's name). See you later!
 * Player: You can take it! Fight!
 * Zanik: It’s not so tough! Its arm's come off, but it's still coming at me! Now, I’ve cut off both its arms, but it’s still trying to bite me! What? It’s hopping at me on one leg! Why doesn’t it die already? There. I’ve cut off all its limbs and kicked it in the swamp. No zombie is safe from Zanik of the Dorgeshuun! I don’t think I’ll have trouble with anything else in this swamp. Thanks for the help, (player's name)! See you around!
 * Player: Try to swim to the bank!
 * Zanik: I think I can do that! The bank is just… Hey, what’s that? There’s a head poking out of the water… Eek! Tentacles! It’s got me!
 * Player: Attack the tentacle!
 * Zanik: If I can just reach my dagger… It’s working! It doesn’t like that at all! Phew! It let me go. I’m back on the bank now. I’m not badly hurt, but I’m covered in swamp slime and monster blood. I’m going to stop here and try to clean it off. Thanks for your help, (player's name). I’ll talk to you some other time.
 * Player: Attack the head!
 * Zanik: I hope my crossbow’s still dry enough… Haha! Got it! Crossbow bolt in the eye! It didn’t seem to hurt it too much, but it’s let me go. I’ve got back to the bank. I think I can see a way out of the swamp from here. Thanks for your help, (player's name)! I’ll talk to you some other time.

Zanik and Evil Dave

 * Player: Hello?
 * Zanik: (player's name)?
 * Player: I’m contacting you by magic!
 * Zanik: Hey, (player's name), do you know someone called Evil Dave? He’s telling me about his plan for world domination, but I’m not sure if he’s being serious.
 * Player: He’s an evil wizard! You’ve got to stop him!
 * Zanik: Okay, I’ve got this. Stop right now, Evil Dave! If you want to conquer the world, you’ll have to get past me first! He’s casting a spell, (player's name)! He’s made a magic circle and he’s going to summon something! I have to disrupt the magic somehow!
 * Player: Make him get the words wrong!
 * Zanik: Abracadabra! Oogle-boogle, shazam! That’s confused him. He’s made a mistake. Something’s appearing… It’s …A cabbage? Oh. Evil Dave is taking it up to his mum to make into dinner. I think he’s given up his evil plans for now.
 * Player: Disrupt the magic circle!
 * Zanik: There! The circle’s broken! Something is still happening, though… Evil Dave has turned himself into a fish! He’s flopping around and- Oh, he’s turned back. He says he’s going to go and have a lie down. I think his evil plans are foiled for the time being.
 * Player: Just let him cast the spell.
 * Zanik: Well, okay. He’s finished the spell. Something’s emerging… It’s a rat! A little red rat with glowing eyes! Aww, it’s cute. It’s eating some cheese out of my hand. Evil Dave is so disappointed. He says he was sure he’d get it right this time.
 * Player: I think he’s harmless.
 * Zanik: Really? He’s asking me to join his evil scheme. He says I could be his ‘Evil Death-Bringer Assassin of Darkness’.
 * Player: You’d make a great assassin of darkness.
 * Zanik: Ha! I bet I would. I’d stand on a rooftop, wrapped in a black cloak, a crossbow bolt glinting in the moonlight as my target moved unsuspecting below… Um, if I were evil, of course. Which I’m not. I think I’ve hung around with Evil Dave long enough. I’ll talk to you some other time, (player's name).
 * Player:You’re not going to join him, are you?
 * Zanik: Of course not. You won’t catch me being part of any evil scheme! Well, except that one time, of course. But I don’t want to talk about that. Anyway, I think I should leave Evil Dave to his schemes. I’ll see you around, (player's name).

Zanik and the Abyssal Doom Vortex

 * Player: Hello?
 * Zanik: (player's name)? Oldak, something’s happening. I’ve got (player's name) in my head.
 * Player: I’m contacting you by magic!
 * Zanik: Um, okay. Hey, (player's name), do you know what an “abyssal doom vortex” is? Because that’s what Oldak says he’s created in his lab. It’s kind of getting larger. I think it’s going to explode.
 * Player: Run away!
 * Zanik: Okay! Oldak! Grubfoot! Let’s get out of here! Grubfoot! Grubfoot’s stuck under a thing. I’m going back for him. Oh no! I’ve ended up somewhere else. The walls are red… I think this is the abyss. I can see a portal out, but there are some monsters in between it and me.
 * Player: You should fight them.
 * Zanik: Okay. I haven’t got my crossbow, but I’ve got a dagger. Here goes… There! They weren’t as tough as they looked. I’ve reached the portal. I’m home! And Grubfoot is fine. That’s a relief. Okay, I’m going to help Oldak clean up the mess. I’ll see you around, (player's name).
 * Player: You should sneak past them.
 * Zanik: Okay, here goes… Carefully… Carefully… I’m past them, but there’s still some way to go… Oh no! They’ve seen me! I’ve got to run! I’m through! Phew! The portal is closed, and Grubfoot is fine. I’m going to help Oldak clean up the mess. I’ll see you around, (player's name).
 * Player: You need to shut it down!
 * Zanik: Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Hey, Oldak, (player's name) thinks you should shut it down! Oh no! Oldak! Oldak’s paralysed! I can’t remember how to shut it down! What did Oldak say? It was either de-align the rune injector, or reverse the polarity on the polarity reverser.
 * Player: De-align the injector!
 * Zanik: Okay! Here goes… It worked! It’s shut off! But it’s left this red gunk all over the floor. Oldak is scraping some of it into a sample jar. A very interesting result, he says. Anyway, that looks like the end of that abyssal doom vortex. I’ll see you around, (player's name).
 * Player: Reverse the polarity!
 * Zanik: Okay, I’m turning this part the other way round… Wow… That’s the most amazing… it’s… indescribable.
 * Player: What was it? What happened?
 * Zanik: I can’t describe it! It’s literally indescribable! Anyway, it’s gone now. I think I should leave Oldak and Grubfoot to work. I’ll see you around, (player's name).

Champions Guild

 * Zanik: (player's name), you're a member of the champions guild too? This is great!
 * Player: How did you become a member of the guild?
 * Zanik: I had to do a quest to prove myself. I had to slay a really hard monster... but the monster was the easy part! The hard part was getting there, everyone has lost the map.
 * Player: What do you think of the Champion's Guild?
 * Zanik: It's alright, but I wouldn't stay here to long. The Guildmaster never goes out on adventures anymore, he just stands and greets people. The champions downstairs aren't much better either. They asked me to be the "Cave goblin champion" but I wasn't interested. I don't want to spend all my time sitting and waiting for excitement to come to me, I want to go out there and find it!

Oldak's room

 * Zanik: What are you working on, Oldak?
 * Oldak: Mmm...what? Oh, yes. Grubfoot and I are trying to break runes down into their smallest components. It's fascinating. It was Grubfoot's idea, really.
 * Grubfoot: We smash runes together! Then we get bits!
 * Oldak: Yes, quite. Then we take those bits...
 * Grubfoot: Then we smash bits together!
 * Zanik: Is it safe?
 * Grubfoot: Oh, yes! There only very small chance we accidentally destroy world!
 * Oldak: Almost no chance at all, in fact.
 * Zanik: Well, that's a relief! Oh, hello, (player's name).
 * Player: Can I help?
 * Zanik: Yes. We can both help.
 * Oldak: No, thank you. This is a very technical job and too many hands would just increase the chance of an accident.
 * Zanik: Oh, well. See you later, Oldak!
 * Player: What are you doing here?
 * Zanik: I was just checking out Oldak's latest experiments.
 * Zanik: Most of Oldak's magic goes over my head, but what little I do understand is fascinating. It's brilliant the way he tries everything out to see whether what he thinks is true or not.
 * Zanik: You know, sometimes I think he likes it more when his theories turn out to be wrong. That way he gets to invent new theories to try out.

Before Love Story

 * Zanik: So then what happened?
 * Wise Old Man: Why, then I looted its body, of course! Why else would I have slain the giant?
 * Zanik: I thought you were there to save the people of the village!
 * Wise Old Man: Oh, yes that too. When I got back they threw gave me lots of presents and we danced till the sun came up. Ah, those were the days.
 * Zanik: Oh hello (player's name), Dionysius was just telling me about his adventures.
 * Player: What adventure is this?
 * Wise Old Man: Oh just a small tale of a giant I once killed, it's nothing special. I am far more interested in hearing of your adventures young Zanik, I have never met such an exceptional goblin.
 * Zanik:' Well, (player's name) and I did stop the H.A.M people from destroying my city.
 * Wise Old Man: Opposition to monsters is very well, but those H.A.M. people can take things a bit too far.
 * Zanik: Yes, well then we were nearly conquered by an evil avatar of Bandos, but (player's name) and I managed to defeat it.
 * Wise Old Man: You defeated an evil god, you must have had Saradomin on your side to achieve such a thing!
 * Zanik: Well no, we defeated him ourselves and we are getting on fine without any gods.
 * Wise Old Man: Hmm. Well. A great adventure. Well done.
 * Player: What are you doing in Draynor?
 * Zanik: I was just exploring the human lands. I heard there was on old adventurer living here so I came to see what I could learn.

After Love Story

 * Zanik: So then what happened?
 * Wise Old Man: Why, then I looted its body, of course! Why else would I have slain the giant?
 * Zanik: I thought you were there to save the people of the village!
 * Wise Old Man: Oh, yes that too. When I got back they threw gave me lots of presents and we danced till the sun came up. Ah, those were the days.
 * 'Zenevivia: A typical adventure. You fight one raggedy giant, then everyone treats you like you're special. Bah.
 * Wise Old Man: Yes, dear. Don't worry, I don't do that sort of thing anymore.
 * Zanik: Oh hello (player's name), Dionysius was just telling me about his adventures.
 * Player: What adventure is this?
 * Wise Old Man: Oh just a small tale of a giant I once killed, it's nothing special. I am far more interested in hearing of your adventures young Zanik, I have never met such an exceptional goblin.
 *  Zanik:' Well, (player's name) and I did stop the H.A.M people from destroying my city.
 * Wise Old Man: Opposition to monsters is very well, but those H.A.M. people can take things a bit too far.
 * Zanik: Yes, well then we were nearly conquered by an evil avatar of Bandos, but (player's name) and I managed to defeat it.
 * Zenevivia: It's nice to meet someone who sets out to solve their own problems instead of waiting for help from a passing adventurer.
 * Zanik: Well, I think we might have been defeated if it weren't for Player.
 * Zenevivia: Oh, suit yourself.
 * Wise Old Man: Nevertheless, that was a great feat. Well done, well done.
 * Player: What are you doing in Draynor?
 * Same as above

Goblin Village

 * Zanik: Hello.
 * General Bentnoze: Look Wartface! It's Chosen Commander!
 * Zanik: I'm no-
 * General Wartface: She not Chosen Commander!
 * General Bentnoze: She is Chosen Commander!
 * General Wartface: She NOT Chosen Commander!
 * General Bentnoze: Wartface, at least listen to what she has to say.
 * General Wartface: Alright Dorgesh-Kaan goblin, me not think you chosen commander, but me listen to what you say.
 * General Bentnoze: So what you say Chosen Commander?
 * Zanik: I am not the Chosen Commander! Not anymore.
 * General Wartface: Me tell you she not chosen commander you stupid Bentnoze!
 * General Bentnoze: Shut up Wartface, you stupid! You shut up too Not-Chosen-Commander, we not listen to you!
 * Zanik: Suit yourself. Oh hello (player's name).
 * Player: What are you doing here?
 * Zanik: Oh, Grubfoot asked me to see how the generals were doing. He's getting worried they can't cope without him.
 * General Wartface: Grubfoot? Grubfoot in Dorgesh-Kaan City?
 * General Bentnoze: You tell him to come back here now! We need him to do things.
 * General Wartface: Generals got to have servant. If we not have servant than we not proper generals!
 * Zanik: He doesn't want to come back, he's living in Dorgesh-Kaan now.
 * General Bentnoze: Well then, maybe you be our servant Not-Chosen-Commander!
 * General Wartface: Yes! Not-Chosen-Commander, go get us dinner!
 * Zanik: I am not going to be your servant!
 * General Bentnoze: Shut up Not-Chosen-Commander! Where's that dinner?
 * Zanik: Oh what's the point? Goodbye generals, nice talking to you.
 * Player: How do you get along with the surface goblins?
 * Zanik: Not too well; it's a pity. These are my people too you know, just as much as the cave goblins are. They're not bad people, Well a lot of them are, but not inherently evil. They are not as stupid as they look either. Some of them, like Grubfoot, are quite smart, but their god tells them thinking for themselves is wrong, so they don't. I should probably just leave them alone, I only start an argument when I show up here.

Ice Mountain

 * Zanik: So... can you impart your wise wisdom to me, O Oracle?
 * Oracle: You? Ah! Do not touch me!
 * Zanik: What's the matter?
 * Oracle: You are adrift. A broken person, adrift in time, and all you touch is broken and lost... the gods play...
 * Zanik: What do you mean?
 * Oracle: The gods play games, but a playing piece leaves the board. The gods' play is acted out, and some say their lines and some forget, but you...
 * Oracle: There is the way it is, and the way it would have been but now never will be... and I can see both, and it hurts.
 * Oracle: You are adrift - a hole in destiny. You have no destiny and... I cannot look at you.
 * Zanik: No destiny. I think I can live with that.
 * Zanik: Oh, hello, (player's name).
 * Player: What was that about?
 * Zanik: Your guess is as good as mine... something about destiny. It looks like my destiny is messed up because of what we did.
 * Zanik: Well, that's fine by me. 'Destiny' is just a fancy word for what some god wanted me to do. I don't want anything to do with that. My future is unwritten and I'll write it myself.
 * Player: What are you doing here?
 * Zanik: Oh, someone told me the Oracle could see the future, so I thought that was worth checking out... but never mind that.
 * Zanik: The view here is amazing - I can see so far. This must be the highest place I've been.
 * Zanik: And snow! I'd never even imagined it before I saw it on the surface.
 * Zanik: You know, you can keep your destiny and your predictions. I've got a good feeling about my future.

Oo'glog

 * Zanik: Hello [player name], isn't it beautiful here? It's so peaceful!
 * Player: Yes, I like it.
 * Zanik: I am glad you like it too. Most of the humans here pass through so quickly. They don't stop to look around.
 * Player: Its full of mud and ogres!
 * 'Zanik: And? Whats wrong with mud and ogres? Oh never mind, I think its something humans don't appreciate so much. I think this place is peaceful for goblins, ogres, and other... you know.... other Bandos races. Races from Yu'biusk. I think this place must be like Yu'biusk. Not like it is now, but before Bandos destroyed it. Mud, plants, cool water - it's just like Grubfoot described. So it moves something deep inside us. It feels like home!

Ranging Guild

 * Zanik: I'll show these stuck up archers, I'll show 'em all!
 * Player: What are you doing in the Ranging Guild?
 * Zanik: I am going to prove myself! I am going for the record! They made fun of me, they said crossbows weren't as good as "real" bows! Well they won't be laughing when I hold the ranging competition record!
 * Player: What do you think of the Ranging Guild?
 * Zanik: Would you believe they wouldn't let me in at first? They said a goblin would never make a decent archer. Well I showed them... with seven bullseyes in a row! A goblin with a crossbow is more fancy than their longbows and throwing axes any day!

Stealing Creation

 * Zanik: Hello, (player's name).
 * Player: What are you doing here?
 * Zanik: Well, I wanted to check out these mystics that people have talked about, and their portal to another world.
 * Zanik: They won't let me go through their portal to see the other world, though. The Head Mystic talked about how the holy ones were angry with me or something.
 * Zanik: Well, never mind, there's plenty to see in this world.
 * Player: What do you think of the mystics?
 * Zanik: They worship the ghosts in the wilderness - ghosts left over from the God Wars. Did you realise that?
 * Zanik: They seem to think the God Wars was a time of glorious battles, where everyone was heroic and brave. I think if they could, they'd go back to that time...or they'd start a new war here.
 * Zanik: I know a bit about war - I've had the War God in my head, after all - and I don't think these mystics would be so fascinated by war if they were in a real one.

Tzhaar

 * Zanik: Hello, (player's name). I didn't think I'd run into you so far from home.
 * Zanik: Or maybe I should call you... JalYt - something-or-other - (player's name).
 * Zanik: I am JalYt-Xil-Zanik!
 * Player: What are you doing in Tz-Haar?
 * Zanik: I have been fighting in the fight caves, i haven't gotten to the end yet though. They say there's some huge creature called TzTok-Jad.
 * Player: I have reached TzTok-Jad.
 * Zanik: You have, what's it like? Wait, wait don't tell me. I am gonna find out for myself!
 * Player: I haven't reached Tz-Tok-Jad either.
 * Zanik: Well we'll see who gets to him first. Ha, ha ha!
 * Player: What do you think of the TzHaar?
 * Zanik: It's fascinating. It's an underground city, but it's totally different from home.
 * Zanik: Even though I grew up in Dorgesh-Kaan, I can see how it's an artificial place. Goblins are from the surface originally, just like humans. The underground is a hostile environment and we have to came it.
 * Zanik: But these Tzhaar... they belong underground. They're creatures of rock and fire, born out of the volcano, so a city down here is totally natural for them.

Wizards' Tower

 * Zanik: Oh, hello, (player's name)...
 * Player: So you're a wizard now?
 * Zanik: Oh, no. some of the wizards tried to teach me magic, but I just don't have the knack.
 * Zanik: I couldn't even cast Wind Strike, and they say everyone can cast that.
 * Player: What do you think of the Wizards' Tower?
 * Zanik: It's interesting. I don't understand the first thing about magic, but it's still interesting.
 * Zanik: They handle it so differently from how Oldak does. He's just trying things out on his own. Sometimes they work, but more often they don't and he tries something else.
 * Zanik: Here, the wizards have hundreds of years of tradition to draw upon. They can do so much more than Oldak... but I get the impression they don't really understand what they're doing, some of the time.
 * Player: What are you doing here?
 * Zanik: Well, I came here to get some books for Oldak. He's been in touch with some of the wizards here through letters, so I wanted to see what this place was like for myself.
 * Zanik: Then, when I got here, old Wizard Traiborn asked to look for something called a 'thingummywut'. I looked all over but I couldn't find it. I'm starting to think it doesn't exist.
 * Player: There's no such thing as Thingummywuts; Wizard Traiborn is mad.
 * Zanik: Haha! I thought as much.
 * Player: The Thingummywut is definitely around here somewhere.
 * Zanik: Oh, well, I'll keep looking then.