Brassica Prime/dialogue

During April Fools 2009

 * When summoned
 * Brassica Prime: Hooray!


 * When talked-to
 * Brassica Prime: I am deeply impressed that one of my little friends has been brought so far. Here: Have a cabbage.
 * Player: Thanks, I guess.

After 30 kicks of the Gilded Cabbage

 * Brassica Prime: Your persistence pleases Brassica Prime. I share my power with you, World Guardian.

After Missing, Presumed Death

 * Player: Brassica Prime!
 * Player: Why are you still here?
 * Brassica Prime: Can't a cabbage just relax and enjoy the scenery for once? I like the feel of this cushion on my leaves.
 * Brassica Prime: You know what this place is missing though? A cabbage patch!
 * Player: Why didn't you flee when the dragonkin attacked?
 * Brassica Prime: Everyone knows cabbage beats fire. I had nothing to worry about!
 * Player: Erm, I think it's the other way round...
 * Brassica Prime: A bit of fire couldn't hurt me. A roasted cabbage is a delicious cabbage, and deliciousness is power!
 * Player: Will you try to win the Stone of Jas?
 * Brassica Prime: You mean the Cabbage of a Thousand Truths? Hah, I - BRASSICA PRIME - have no need for such devices. I command the power of highly concentrated nutrients. There is no greater force in all of creation.
 * Player: Why didn't you talk to the other gods?
 * Brassica Prime: Other gods? I am the god of all cabbages, what other gods do you speak of?
 * Player: The ones who were here before... Saradomin, Zamorak, Bandos-
 * Brassica Prime: Oh, the fleshy giants! They had assembled to meet the all mighty cabbage, Brassica Prime!
 * Player: Goodbye.

Cabbage Facepunch Bonanza

 * If unaligned:
 * Brassica Prime: Behold! My deliciousness is manifest! When your awe has subsided, speak to the gardener and plead to join my army.
 * If sided with Brassica Prime
 * Brassica Prime: What are you doing? My deliciousness diminishes every moment!
 * Brassica Prime: Ask your questions quickly, then return to the fight!
 * If sided with the Godless
 * Brassica Prime: I see you have chosen to deny the truth of divine deliciousness. Your foolishness will pass in time.
 * If sided with Marimbo
 * Brassica Prime: Banana-consuming heathen! Begone from my nutritious sight, lest smiting ensue.
 * Player: Who are you?
 * Brassica Prime: I am Brassica Prime! You're welcome.
 * Brassica Prime: I am the lord of delicious. Wielder of my sacred nutrition. This world's cabbages lie under my domain.
 * Player: Just cabbages?
 * Brassica Prime: Of course not 'just' cabbages. All cabbage-kind and all cabbage-related things are mine to control.
 * Brassica Prime: For instance, is this world not shaped like a giant cabbage?
 * Brassica Prime: Is this giant, glowing cabbage in the sky not the source of light an heat in this world?
 * Brassica Prime: Have you not already felt my blessings for your determination? If you have kicked the Golden Cabbage 50 times
 * Brassica Prime: Do not the fields contain unbroken rows of cabbages as far as the eyes can see?
 * Brassica Prime: Are not the mountains filled with delicious veins of pure cabbage ore?
 * Player: ...not really, no.
 * Brassica Prime: Then you must look harder!
 * Player: What is the source of your power? Only available after you've chosen another option
 * Brassica Prime: Deliciousness is the source of my power.
 * Brassica Prime: For deliciousness infuses every micro-cabbage that forms the world around us.
 * Brassica Prime: It flows through the cosmos, infusing every living thing - thus binding them together.
 * Brassica Prime: From the tiniest, humblest cabbage on this world to the giant space-cabbages that will soon arrive to enslave humanity, all are connected by the deliciousness.
 * Brassica Prime: Truly to be the most delicious is to wield this power. The power to create and destroy.
 * Brassica Prime: And as the most delicious of gods, I am the font of this delicious power.
 * Brassica Prime: From me spills all the deliciousness in creation.
 * Brassica Prime: Now do you see why I am truly the mightiest of gods?
 * Player: Tell me about your followers.
 * Brassica Prime: What kind of a question is that? All people are my people, although some do not know it yet.
 * Brassica Prime: All those who eat of the leaves of my cabbage brethren are mine to command.
 * Brassica Prime: The mighty rabbit. The fearsome gerbil. The noble, yet lowly worm. The voracious caterpillars. The vegetarian humans.
 * Brassica Prime: Although I have also heard that there are tales of some creatures who shun the taste of cabbage. Even some who do not eat it for every meal!
 * Brassica Prime: But I see through these lies for what they are. Nothing can exist without cabbage. I have foreseen it.
 * Player: What about those monkeys?
 * Brassica Prime: Oh. Them.
 * Brassica Prime: Yes, they are quite troubling. However, I am going to allow them to exist, despite their not eating cabbage.
 * Brassica Prime: For truly I am the source of all mercy as well as deliciousness.
 * Player: Why should I follow you?
 * Brassica Prime: You should follow me, for I am in the right!
 * Brassica Prime: Also, I am bribing humans with gifts like a cabbage cloak. But you should really follow me because it is right.
 * Brassica Prime: Surely the Marimban hosts may have finger foods and alcohol, but this is clearly the tastiest team to be on.
 * Marimbo: Yeah, if you like bland salads!
 * Brassica Prime: Your mother is a bland salad!
 * Marimbo: Your mother's FACE is a bland salad!
 * Brassica Prime: You amuse me with your capering, Marimbo! Maybe I will allow bananas into the pantheon of deliciousness.
 * Brassica Prime: Anyway, you should join my team because Marimbo is a stupid monkey. Truly this is the most delicious of justifications.
 * Player: Why are you fighting Marimbo?
 * Brassica Prime:Well, we are not fighting, exactly. Mostly because Marimbo cannot take this seriously.
 * Brassica Prime: But you see, I have an ulterior motive.
 * Brassica Prime: While marimbo drinks herself into a stupor, I will settle the age old question...
 * Brassica Prime: Which is more delicious - bananas or cabbages?
 * Brassica Prime: The answer is obvious to all. Yet some still believe that the banana contains even a fragment of the deliciousness of a cabbage.
 * Brassica Prime: These heretics will be shown, once and for all, that the world is cabbage-shaped for a reason.
 * Brassica Prime: I mean, what perversion of science would cause these falls to think it banana-shaped?
 * Brassica Prime: Let Sliske keep the Cabbage of a Thousand Truths. I have no need for it for I am the greater cabbage!
 * Brassica Prime: Besides, I shall use it to turn the Dragonkin to my worship.
 * Brassica Prime: If they hunger for the Cabbage of a Thousand Truths, then through it they shall hunger for me!
 * Brassica Prime: But for today I shall concentrate on this competition, and emerge victorious.
 * Player: That's everything.
 * Brassica Prime: Deliciousness be with you.