Deadliest Catch/Transcript

Starting Out

 * Player: Hi there.
 * Jones: Ah, perfect!
 * Player: What?
 * Jones: You look pretty bright. Get seasick at all, lass?
 * Player: Erm, no, not really. What d-
 * Jones: Excellent! Done much fishing?
 * Player: Certainly, but why's that important?
 * Jones: Well, Betsy and I are looking for a hardy fisherman to help us out.
 * Player: Betsy?
 * Jones: She's my trusty fishing rod. Ain't she a beauty?
 * Player: She's, erm...not bad.
 * Jones: Not bad? Pah! She's one of the best rods ever made! Now, back to the job at hand. I'm sick of hard graft for little reward and the sea is an inhospitable workplace. So I'm off to hunt... ..the Thalassus!
 * Player:: The what now?
 * Jones: Well, I'll be.. the lass ain't heard of it! It's a horrific beast, surviving in the deep seas for hundreds of generations. More naïve fishermen will tell you it's a myth, but I'm convinced it exists. It's got to be the cause of a recent spree of destroyed ships all over the ocean to the north of here. That's where you come in – I've a little boat moored to the north, but I need someone to help me. I can't do this by myself.
 * Player: And I look like the kind of person willing to risk my life to help you?
 * Jones: Bingo, lass! So, what do you say to helping me catch the deadliest creature ever to swim the seas of Gielinor?


 * Jones: Fantastic! Let's get started. I need help with three things: an extra rower, a giant harpoon and a particular sea chart.
 * Player: You need an extra rower?
 * Jones: Certainly, rowing across the high seas is a long, gritty and terrible job. Not only do I doubt you fancy rowing for hours, but I need your mind on the hunting with me.
 * Player: So someone strong who enjoys repetitive tasks and is willing to risk their life in hunting a horrible sea creature. I'm not sure many people fit those criteria.
 * Jones: Actually, lass, I have just the man in mind. My cousin has been looking for a job for so long he's probably pretty desperate and wouldn't take much to convince.
 * Player: What's his name?
 * Jones: It embarrasses me to say, but he insists on being called 'The Guns'.
 * Player: I know him! He's one of those builders down at the Tower of Life. I'll go talk to him.
 * Player: You need a giant harpoon?
 * Jones: This isn't a sardine we're catching, lass! The weapon that'll defeat the Thalassus will need to be an incredible feat of smithing, yet none of the smiths I've met would be able to make such a thing. I know the fishing master here at the guild has many expert friends, perhaps he would know someone that can help. Here's some plans for what I need the harpoon to be like.
 * Jones handed you the harpoon plans.
 * Player: You need a particular sea chart?
 * Jones: Yes, the fishing master here at the guild has been keeping track of all the ships wrecked at sea. That should help us figure out where to find the sea creature. But the pompous gut won't give it up freely; he likes to hoard information for power. Go pickpocket it from him.
 * Player: I suppose it is for the good of all fishermen.
 * Player: Can you tell me more about the Thalassus?
 * Jones: Researching your catch? I like it! It's existed for many generations, so it's bound to be a really tough monster. There are many accounts of what it looks like, so no one's really sure what form it takes. One thing all the stories tell is that it swallows its victims and then slowly digests them over several weeks; melting away skin, flesh and finally bone.
 * Player: Awesome!
 * Jones: Easy, lad. Many a foolish fisherman has taken the beast lightly and suffered the consequences. It's better you show some respect or you might suffer the same!
 * Player: That's horrible!
 * Jones: Of course, lass. Imagine being eaten alive, swimming in a pool of acid as you slowly die.
 * Player: Where does it live?
 * Jones: Out in the depths of the ocean; it seems to like the cooler water to the north. I've been fishing for practically my entire life and I know those seas better than anyone. We'll find it.
 * Player: Actually, I'll be right back.

'The Guns'

 * Player: Hello again.
 * 'The Guns': Ah! Hi, mate. How... is it... *umpf* ...going?
 * Player: Not bad. I need your help though. I've been talking to your cousin, Jones.
 * 'The Guns': Yeah? I've not...spoken to...him for...ever.
 * Player: Well, I'm headed out to sea with him to catch a sea creature. He said you were looking for work and that perhaps you'd be interested in helping. It'll mean plenty of rowing, but hopefully plenty of fortune in return.
 * 'The Guns': Sounds good... *umpf* Count me in. but there's...one problem. I get...*umpf* ...very seasick. Jones...has made...a potion for me...in the past.
 * Player: To stop you from getting seasick? Right. Perhaps I can make it for you. What are the ingredients?
 * 'The Guns': Simplt mix...lowland heather...from around here...and builder's tea...chat to Bonafido.
 * Player: Some lowland heather and builder's tea – check.

Bonafido

 * Player: Hi, Bonafido!
 * Bonafido: Ay up, lass, long time no see. How's it goin?
 * Player: Not bad. I'm hoping you can help me. 'The Guns' said you might be able to help me out with some builder's tea?
 * Bonafido: Now that's summat I can help thee with! Here, I've some of me own special brew!
 * Bonafido hands you some tea.
 * Player: Excellent, thanks!

Returning to Jones

 * Player: I've made the potion!
 * 'The Guns': Superb, mate. I'll take that...and...I'll see you...where Jones is.
 * Player: Wait, before you go, I've been meaning to ask... What's your real name?
 * 'The Guns': Ha, you'll be...lucky. That secret dies...*umpf*...with me. So, you want to...travel back to the Fishing Guild...with me?


 * Player: Hi there. Not lifting that log anymore?
 * 'The Guns': No, mate. I'm saving my strength for some hardcore rowing.
 * Player: Sounds wise.

Master Fisher

 * Player: Hi, I was hoping you could help me.
 * Master Fisher: Yes?
 * Player: Do you know Jones?
 * Master Fisher: Ha! Everyone knows Jones. He's been fishing since before I was born. Not that you could tell from his successes.
 * Player: I'll bet. Well, we're looking for a master smith, and since you're master fisher, Jones thought you might have someone in mind who could help.
 * Master Fisher: Funny you should ask – a friend of mine, Linza, has been helping make some unique fishing tools. If you head up to Hemenster, you might catch Linza smithing away at the anvil there. If she can't help you, I doubt anyone can.
 * Player: Thank you!

Linza

 * Player: Excuse me.
 * Linza: This is shaping up nicely.
 * Player: I was wondering if you could help me. I'm looking for someone to help me make an item.
 * Linza: Hmm, it's almost complete.
 * Player: Excuse me, are you listening to me?
 * Linza: What? You want an item? Can't you make it yourself?
 * Player: Not really. You see, I need a harpoon to catch a sea creature. ... I'm still not sure you're listening. It's to catch a creature called the Thalassus.
 * Linza: The Thalassus, you say!
 * Player: So you've heard of the beast?
 * Linza: Hmm. The Thalassus: a creature of the inhospitable sea, incredibly long-lived, durable...in particular the teeth, resistance to sea erosion. Sea pressures resulting in high density? Worth the research, I guess. Tough, natural substances. There might b-
 * Player: Wait, what are you talking about?
 * Linza: Oh, sorry. This Thalassus has survived the ocean for many generations, and myth tells of its huge, sharp, durable teeth. I'm guessing they're made of an incredibly strong natural material, which might be a great component for weapons or armour. It'd be great for furthering my research.
 * Player: I see. Perhaps we can strike a deal. If you make a harpoon fit for killing the Thalassus, I'll return you one of its teeth should we catch it? I've some plans on what it should be like.
 * Linza: You've made some plans?
 * Player: Well, not me. My esteemed fisherman colleague, Jones, has. Here.


 * Linza: Multiple chains? Blades? Oh, no, this won't do at all. That's of no use to anyone. Don't worry, I'll make you a harpoon that'll do the job. I've some metal I engineered myself by splicing together the properties of several metals – perfect for the job.
 * Player: Erm, if you say so.
 * Linza: Now, let me see... This should be an easy one.


 * Linza: Done! Here you go.
 * Linza hands you a giant harpoon.
 * Player: That was amazing, thank you!
 * Player: So, what exactly will you do with the tooth?
 * Linza: It sounds like it has a great many valuable properties. I'd be taking it back to my workshop to put through various tests – see how well it fares in different chemicals, stress tests, try to determine what makes up its structure. Various things.
 * Player: Have you ever tested special materials from creatures before?
 * Linza: Almost... On one occasion similar to this, I was looking for the fabled Crack jaw. I headed off into the middle of the Wilderness with some of my more...combative friends to track down the beast. It was quite exciting to see how the weapons and armour I made them fared! The creature was said to rebound any weapon and change shape dramatically. I guessed it'd have skin that could stretch to double its original size, yet remain incredibly tough.
 * Player: Sounds like a weird beast. What happened?
 * Linza: We never found it. I can only suppose it was a lie. Instead, we were ambushed by some lowlifes – it was quite the onslaught! I learned a valuable lesson that day.
 * Player: Not to believe in fantastical creatures?
 * Linza: No. Let others do the fighting. I'll stick to what I'm interested in.
 * Player: What's that sword for?
 * Linza: The one I'm making? It's for Sir Vyvin of the White Kinghts of Falador. He knows the odd thing or two about armour and smithing, wanted to make use of my expertise.
 * Player: What will he use it for?
 * Linza: Hopefully, something useful.
 * Player: Which is?
 * Linza: You sure have a lot of questions. Have you caught that sea creature yet?
 * Player: Not yet.
 * Linza: Then please hold up your end of the bargain.
 * Player: What of other smiths, I'm pretty good!
 * Linza: You think? This isn't just some generic sword. It has precise properties, all balanced with the wielder's physique, technique and chosen application. I have to consider the weighting in ratio to the strength; how much pressure the wielder applies with a hit; the strength of their grip; their aggression levels... The list goes on.
 * Player': That is quite a high level of attention to detail.
 * Player: Sir Vyvin could have gone to the dwarves, no?
 * Linza: True, they have discovered some astounding things when it comes to their craft, but so have the many other races. When I visit or look up on a race's methods, I take a bit of all the lessons I learn, then I pick and choose the techniques to best suit the piece of work I'm busy with. I guess Sir Vyvin recognizes that.
 * Player: Best I get on and hunt the Thalassus.
 * Linza: Certainly.

Getting ready

 * Player: Hi Jones.
 * Jones: How can I help?
 * Player: Here's the sea chart!
 * Jones: Fantastic work.
 * Player: I've got the harpoon! I had to go see a lady called Linza. She let us have it in exchange for us giving her a tooth from the deadly sea creature. Hope that's okay.
 * Jones: No problem! We'll have plenty of teeth by the time we're done.
 * Player: That's it! 'The Guns' is ready, and we have the harpoon and the chart.
 * Jones: You're a star, lass. Well, if you're ready, shall we head out to sea?
 * Player: Lead the way!
 * Jones: Oi, Guns, we're off!
 * 'The Guns': Yeah? Right-o!
 * If the player has a familiar
 * Jones: Hold on, you can't take your follower with you.

Tracking

 * 'The Guns': Here we are!
 * Jones: Good job! Are you okay in there, Player?
 * Player: It's a bit cramped, but I appreciate there isn't space for all of us out on deck.
 * Jones: Let's get to hunting that sea creature. Investigate the shipwrecks to try to reveal the creature's trail. If you keep guessing wrong, you'll have to start from the beginning, so keep an eye on which wrecks you're examining.
 * Player: Examine the wrecks – check.
 * Jones: If you loot the shipwrecks, you'll probably find some treasure. This is only a small boat, so we only carry so much – choose wisely.
 * Player: Got it. Guns, you ready to row on my instructions?
 * 'The Guns': Ready!

The Thalassus

 * Jones: The tracks end here – must be nearby.
 * Player: I don't see it, maybe it went elsewhere.
 * 'The Guns': Arrghh! Over there! We're all gonna die!
 * Player: Calm down, maybe it hasn't seen us.
 * Jones: Somehow I doubt it. It's about to charge, we need to issue the harpoon. Hold on, you two.
 * 'The Guns': Holding on!
 * Jones [overhead]: Take this!


 * 'The Guns' [overhead]: I think you angered it!
 * 'The Guns' [overhead]: Jones, Player – look out!


 * 'The Guns' [overhead]: Arghhh!
 * 'The Guns': Oh, no! Now they're both overboard! Help!
 * Jones was swallowed by the sea creature and you've been knocked overboard!

The Mermaids

 * Several hours later...
 * Player: Urgh... Where am I?
 * Tentacle: What a wholesome catch, Good work, ladies.
 * Urchin: Wholesome catch! Wholesome catch!
 * Anemone: I say we grind it to a pulp first. All the better for the Thalassus's digestion.
 * Tentacle: First things first, Anemone. Let's see what it has to say. Human, what are you doing so deep out at sea?
 * Player: Um, I was just hunting a sea creature called the Thalassus.
 * Anemone: Stupid human! How dare he/she attack the Thalassus?
 * Urchin: Stupid human! Stupid human!
 * Tentacle: Listen here, human. The Thalassus has protected us for many generations from other sea denizens, and no silly human has ever come close to capturing it.
 * Anemone: And now we've caught you, you'll be a good meal for the beast.
 * Tentacle: We love fulfilling the Thalassus's appetite for humans, especially foolish fishermen.
 * Player: Oh no, poor Jones.
 * Tentacle: Who?
 * Player: Jones. He was eaten by the creature.
 * Tentacle: Ahhh, did the ickie-wickie human lose a friendy-wendy? Don't worry, he won't be dead yet. The Thalassus likes to digest his food slowly and painfully over many agonizing days.
 * Player: Hmmm, I'm going to have to talk my way out of this.
 * Tentacle: What?
 * Player: I'm going to have to talk my way out of this.
 * Anemone: You're crazy, you wouldn't stand a chance. I'll crush your bones.
 * Player: I think the Thalassus is sick.
 * Tentacle: We're compulsive liars. You're going to have to do better than that to fool us.
 * Player: The Thalassus has eaten Jones the mighty fisherman.
 * Tentacle: Jones? Never heard of him. A nobody.
 * Player: He's famous among humans. He's caught pretty much everything in the sea that moves.
 * Tentacle: That doesn't impress me.
 * Player: Doesn't look like anything does.
 * Anemone: You got that right, pathetic human scum.
 * Player: He's won millions of trophies.
 * Urchin: Trophies, schmophies.
 * Player: It should, he's been hunting for decades.
 * Urchin: A horrid hunter! We're gonna die!
 * Player: He's so horrid, even I don't like him.
 * Tentacle: Your lack of integrity is commendable.
 * Player: Very horrid! After he's killed the Thalassus, he'll probably come after you.
 * Anemone: I don't think I like the sound of this Jones human.
 * Player: He speaks highly of you.
 * Anemone: Oh, how very funny. You should be a stand-up comedian...not!
 * Player: Trust me, I'm a great adventurer. I should know.
 * Tentacle: Yeah? In what way?
 * Player: I've travelled all over the world, talked to many people, survived attacks from many dangerous monsters. I also sailed against your precious Thalassus and yet here I am, alive.
 * Tentacle: I'll give you that, human, you seem to be well travelled.
 * Player: Did I mention Jones has a harpoon with him?
 * Urchin: Big, bad harpoon!
 * Tentacle: So what? I've seen the sea creature survive many harpoons with my own eyes.
 * Player: It's no ordinary harpoon.
 * Tentacle: What do you mean?
 * Player: It was crafted by one of the world's greatest smiths. It's made specifically for hunting the Thalassus, and Jones has it with him ready to use, and he's in the creature's stomach.
 * Tentacle: Okay, I've heard enough. Let's get this Jones human out of the Thalassus. We don't want to take the risk.
 * Player: Phew!
 * Tentacle: Don't think you're free human. You'd still prove a tasty meal for the Thalassus. We'll give you some karambwan; you hunt down the sea creature and feed it to it.
 * Urchin: Make creature sicky-sick!
 * Tentacle: Exactly, Urchin. We feed the Thalassus karambwan when it's eaten something it shouldn't have. But we will follow you, human. Any wrong move and we tip your boat over. Don't think you've escaped.
 * Player: But I've no idea where my boat is.
 * Anemone: It's not far. Stupid man keeps rowing it around in circles.

Tracking again

 * 'The Guns': You're back!
 * Player: Yes, and just about in one piece. Listen, we have to find the sea creature again. Jones could still be alive.
 * Tentacle: We're keeping an eye on you!
 * Player: Where are you?
 * Anemone: Down here, idiot, in the water.
 * Tentacle: Any smart moves and you're Thalassus bait!

The Escape

 * 'The Guns': Gotta be around here somewhere.
 * Player: And hopefully Jones is still alive.
 * Anemone: Poor Jonesy, who cares about him?
 * Player: So mean!
 * Player: Look! There it is!
 * Tentacle: What are you waiting for? Feed it the karambwan – quickly!
 * 'The Guns': Here goes. This'll be a good test of my throwing arm.
 * 'The Guns [overhead]': Humpf!


 * 'The Guns': He's mighty hungry! Look at him eating it!
 * 'The Guns': Where'd it go?
 * 'The Guns [overhead]': Look out!


 * 'The Guns': Jones!
 * Player: And a tooth! Quick, Guns: row like you've never rowed before!
 * Anemone: Oi!
 * Player: Don't look back!

Safety

 * Jones: Wow, that was close. Urgh, it was horrible. I thought I was gonna die. Thank you both.
 * 'The Guns': No...problem... Must...breathe...
 * Player: I don't think I've ever seen someone row that fast.
 * Jones: Me neither, Good job, cousin. It was good luck me dislodging one of its teeth as I flew out. While we're having a breather, why don't you go take the tooth to Linza.
 * Jones handed you the Thalassus's tooth.
 * Player: Sounds like a plan, I'll be right back.

Jones

 * Player: Have you recovered now?
 * 'The Guns': Just about, thanks, mate. I don't mind admitting that's probably the most frightened I've ever been in my life. That and when I thought I was losing my hair.
 * Player: I'm sure both hair loss and deadly sea creatures are pretty terrifying.
 * 'The Guns': Defo. Didn't I hear Jones say you should be headed to see this Linza chick?
 * Player: Yes, that's right.

Linza

 * Player: Hi, Linza. I managed to get one of the Thalassus's teeth!
 * Linza: You did? Let me see!
 * Player: It was quite dangerous getting it; I hope it's useful?
 * Linza: Wow...yes, this is a very strong material, surprisingly light. Amazing, I need to do some further research on this. Thank you for getting this.

The New Business

 * Player: I've given the tooth to Linza!
 * Jones: Superb.
 * Player: So, what are you going to do now?
 * Jones: I hit upon a great idea. Since it seems we ended up being caught, and not the Thalassus, I figured we're better off simply trying to scare it away. I'm now selling my very own 'Miracle Thalassus Protection Cream' to other fishermen by the bucket load! They're spreading it all over themselves, their fishing equipment and even their boats!
 * Player: That's great. I'm guessing it has a particular ingredient?
 * Jones: Yeah, karambwan...but don't you dare tell anyone!
 * Player: I won't. Promise.
 * Jones: Turns out 'The Guns' is also quite the salesman, so he's helping me sell it. It looks like we'll be able to make our fortune another way.
 * Player: That's great news; probably better to let the Thalassus live.
 * Jones: Indeed, and thanks for all your help. If you're interested, I've been setting up some deposit boxes around the world and you're welcome to use them. If you want, you can continue hunting the Thalassus for some hunting experience. Also, I've fashioned some cast nests, which can be equipped, making them easier to fish with than normal fishing nets. Just talk to me if you want to find out more.