Recipe for Disaster/Freeing Skrach Uglogwee/Transcript

Inspecting Skrach Uglogwee

 * Player: How can I help Skrach?
 * Gypsy Aris: Skrach! He'd be un-frozen in a jiffy if he just had some Jubbly.
 * Player: And once again, but in English this time?
 * Gypsy Aris: Sorry... Skrach, being an ogre likes Chompies, and a real delicacy is Jubbly Chompy bird. Do you think you could get some?
 * Player: Yes, I'm sure I can get some Jubbly Chompy.
 * Gypsy Aris: That's the spirit!
 * Player: Ok then, what's involved... how do I get this Jubbly chompy?
 * Gypsy Aris: Ah, well, that's where it breaks down a bit you see. The only thing alive which might help you get the Jubbly Chompy is the most confusing beast that RuneScape has ever known.
 * Gypsy Aris: The situation is lost I am afraid and I understand totally if you decide not to help Skrach.
 * Player: Oh come on... it can't be that difficult.
 * Gypsy Aris: I'm afraid it is. You see... you need to go and speak to an Ogre called Rantz over in the Feldip hills.
 * Player: Ahh right... I see.
 * Gypsy Aris: How do you feel about getting Jubbly Chompy now and freeing Skrach?
 * Player: No way am I going to talk to Rantz.
 * Player: Oh Ok then, I guess I'll talk to Rantz.
 * Gypsy Aris: Well, I do pity you, and wish you the best of luck!
 * Player: Nah, leave that Ogre in the frozen dimension!

Jubbly Birdy

 * Player: Just remind me again how I managed to unfreeze Skrach?
 * Cook: Certainly. Everyone knows that Skrach loves Jubbly Chompy, preferably roasted on a spit! The bird's carcass is so big, it can't be cooked any other way.
 * Player: And how do I get one of those?
 * Cook: I wouldn't know much about that, but I believe you talked to Rantz quite a bit over in the Feldip hills. Apparently, he got you to do him quite a few favours before you actually got the Jubbly.
 * Player: Oh yeah... I remember now...
 * Cook: Did you want a reminder on any other of your brave exploits?
 * [Back to list of options]

Stick da Jubbly

 * Player: I'm trying to free Skrach, can you help?
 * Rantz: Skrach... he big boss? Skrach like da Jubbly chompy... is bestest yums like chompy.
 * Player: Ok, so can you help me get some Jubbly Chompy?
 * Rantz: Rantz tell creature hows to stick da Jubbly... just like da Chompy...
 * Rantz: Soon, creature be da ogre too like Rantz! Harr, har, har!
 * Player: A nice thought, but unlikely...
 * Rantz: But creature do Rantz stuffsies first... yous creature gets Rantz to other lands over 'der so Rantz gets da stuffsies for da glugs-glugs.
 * Rantz points to the North East, in the direction of Karamja.
 * Rantz: Yous do dis creature for da Jubbly?
 * Player: What's involved?
 * Rantz: You's creature gets Rantz to other lands over 'der so Rantz gets da stuffsies for da glug-glugs.
 * Player: What do I get in return?
 * Rantz: Me's shows da creatures how to sneaky, sneaky stick da Jubbly!
 * Player: Ok, I'll do it.
 * Rantz: Dat's da good fing, you's creature goes down by da watery place, over near da cabbage! Me's says more der'.
 * Rantz points to the south east near a largish tree.
 * Player: Ok, will do!
 * Player: No way am I doing that!

Da Watery Place

 * Rantz: So is creature here to talk 'bout free hatsies or Skrach?
 * Player: I guess this is the 'watery place'. What now?
 * Rantz: You's creatures says what Rantz need for da going over da big water to da overder place.
 * Rantz points to the North East...
 * Player: Oh, so you want to go to Karamja... hmmmm, it's a bit of a long walk. You'd probably be better off with a boat!
 * Rantz: Is what me's says... you's creature no helpsies... just says Rantz saysies back!
 * Player: Ohhhh... sorry! Ok, for a boat you'll need something that floats in order to make a hull.
 * Rantz: Uh rocksie?
 * Player: Close!... But perhaps a tree would be better?
 * Rantz: Me finks me has found one...
 * Player: ...very good...
 * Player: What are these 'hatsies'?
 * [Ogre hat dialogue]
 * Player: Ok, show me your 'hatsies'.
 * [Ogre hat dialogue]
 * Player: No thanks.


 * Rantz: So is creature here to talk 'bout free hatsies or Skrach?
 * Player: Can you tell me how to get Jubbly now?
 * If no modifications have been made to the log
 * Rantz: You's creatures not done for Rantz fingies yet! Da boatsie is-da guddun... will carry rantz[sic] to da over place?
 * Player: You can't use that as a boat! The roots are still hanging off it.
 * Rantz: Ok, you's creature makes it better!
 * If the roots have been trimmed off
 * Rantz: Creatures not done yet! Da boatsie not good for da stuffsies! Da stuffsies for da glug-glugs goes in da watery stuffs.
 * Player: Well, yes, you've got no space to put anything in there... it needs to be hollowed out a bit.
 * Rantz: Ok, you's creature makes it better!
 * Player: What are these 'hatsies'?
 * [Ogre hat dialogue]
 * Player: Ok, show me your 'hatsies'.
 * [Ogre hat dialogue]
 * Player: No thanks.

Find Da Stabber

 * Player: Ok, the boat's ready, now tell me how to get a Jubbly.
 * Rantz: Yous do other stuffsies for Rantz first. We's needs da bestest groundy for da walking on new land.
 * Player: Bestest groundy? New land?
 * Rantz: Rantz use stabbie chucker and stick da dirt for da over der' place. You's creature make da chompy by da stabber so Fycie and Bugs sniffs da bestest yumms and splosh over wiv da boatsie!
 * Player: ???
 * Rantz prepares to shoot the bow...
 * Rantz: Ok you's person... goes find da stabber!


 * Player: Can you tell me how to get Jubbly now?
 * Rantz: Creatures not done Rantz stuffsies yet!
 * Player: Ok, what do you need me to do now?
 * Rantz: Rantz done used da stabbie chucker and stock da dirt for da over der' place. You's creature make da chompy by da stabber so Fycie and Bugs sniffs da bestest yumms and splosh over wiv da boatsie!
 * Player: Huh?
 * Rantz: You's creature... goes to da over der' place and cook da chompy by da stabber!
 * Rantz points over to the north east, in the dim distance you can see a beach near Tai Bwo Wannai.

Da Over Der Place

 * You hear a commotion out to sea...
 * Bugs: Hey there... we's could smell da Chompy from ages back... it smells lish!
 * Bugs: Dad says you can get a lift back with us if you want?


 * Bugs: Dad says you can get a free lift back with us if you want?
 * Player: Yes please, I'll get a lift back with you.
 * You accept a free ride from Fycie and Bugs on the makeshift boat.
 * Player: No thanks.

Bigger Fatsie Toady

 * Player: Okay, now tell me how to get Jubbly!
 * Rantz: What's creature's say?
 * Player: I've helped with your scheme to get over to Karamja, now help me by telling me how to get Jubbly!
 * Rantz: Ohhh, get's Jubbly... dat's da easy fing... you's creature is a bit stooped for not know dat!
 * Player: Just tell me!
 * Rantz: Okays creature's keeps hairsies on...
 * Rantz: Ok then you's creature... you's use da big blowers on da fatsie toady. Creature makes da fatsie toady and den needs da rocksie an da wooly fing to stick it down da ground.

Freeing Skrach Uglogwee

 * Gypsy Aris: Good work adventurer, I've teleported them away to safety! You only have [number] council members left to protect!