Smoking Kills/Transcript

Distressed Damsel

 * Some mystical force prevents you from moving the curtain. Sumona gives you a knowing smirk...


 * Sumona: how dare you speak to me with that spying cat following you. Keep the vile creature away from me.


 * Player: Hello, there. I have a strange feeling that you are important. Have you any idea why this might be?
 * Sumona: Oh, I'd have no clue, unless the gods themselves have taken an interest in my plight. Would you be the sort of hero who could rescue a damsel in distress?
 * Player: I've had some mixed experiences with this sort of thing in the past. Give me some more details and I'll consider it.
 * Sumona: Very well. It's a simple tale: my twin sister has been captured by fiendish monsters and is held down the town well. I need a hero to rescue her. Can you help me? If you live, I give a solemn vow to reward you greatly.
 * Player: I'd rather not.
 * Player: Certainly. I can help.
 * Sumona: Great! All you need to do is to jump down the well in the centre of Pollnivneach and save my sister. Get to it.


 * Player: Hello again. Do you have any news for me?
 * Sumona: No news. My sister is still rapped in the bowels of the earth, awaiting your rescue.
 * Player: So, nothing I should know?
 * Sumona: Nothing. Could you get down there and rescue her? I'm sick with worry, don't you know.

Ali Cat's Warning

 * As you approach the well, a stray cat darts out and intercepts you.
 * Ali Cat: Stop, stop. Silly human.
 * Player: Not now puss. I have important work to do.
 * Ali Cat: I said stop. Don't you understand?
 * Player: Don't you have an owner or something? Get away!
 * Ali Cat: I have no owner, for I am a free cat. Listen to me or die horribly!
 * Player: Look, fleabag, I need to go down here to rescue a damsel in distress. I know it's dangerous.
 * Ali Cat: You think you can fight banshees while surrounded by smoke? More skilled folk than you have died horribly in there.
 * Player: Smoke and banshees? Well, I'm sure I'll prevail.
 * Ali Cat: Try wearing your earmuffs and a face mask at the same time, bonehead, it can't be done. You'd be as helpless as a newborn kitten thrown into the Fight Pits. Luckily, I know a solution to this problem.
 * Player: I suppose you'll have me travelling the globe on some epic quest?
 * Ali Cat: Oh, no. All you need to do is seek out Catolax, a Slayer master who died ages ago, and have a chat with him. He was buried in the desert, so he may be hard to talk to.
 * Player: The desert's a big place, any better directions?
 * Ali Cat: A deity told me to look near the ruins of Ullek. That's some-way east of what you humans call the Agility Pyramid. There are some old tombs in the valley walls there, which are only openable if you know the trick.
 * Player: Okay, the tombs east of the Agility Pyramid, talk to dead Slayer guy, learn the 'trick' and I can be off. Oh, and thanks, too.
 * Ali Cat: My pleasure. A warning: don't trust any redheads. Oh, take your cat friend and this...
 * You have a momentary insight, from a source that is completely unknown. You feel you know how to enter one of the tombs of Ullek.


 * Ali Cat: Hello again, human. There's still no way you'd survive in there, so you can't go in.
 * Player: Can you remind me what I was supposed to be doing?
 * Ali Cat: You need to seek out Catolax, a Slayer master who died ages ago, and have a chat with him. He was buried in the desert, so he may be hard to talk to.
 * Player: The desert's a big place, any better directions?
 * Ali Cat: A deity told me to look near the ruins of Ullek. That's some-way east of what you humans call the Agility Pyramid. There are some old tombs in the valley walls there, which are only openable if you know the trick.
 * Player: Okay, the tombs east of the Agility Pyramid, talk to dead Slayer guy, learn the 'trick' and I can be off. Oh, and thanks, too.
 * Ali Cat: My pleasure. A warning: don't trust any redheads. Oh, take your cat friends.

Trials and Traps

 * You find the secret latch and enter the ancient tomb of which the cat told you. You hear a mewing from your bag. Your cat seems to be attracting your attention.


 * Player: Anything you could offer in the way of advice, my feline friend?
 * Cat: Have you seen the way that Sumona creature looks at me?
 * Player: What's that got to do with it?
 * Cat: She hates me, which shows she's up to no good. We cats are a blessed species – remember that.
 * Player: I'm still confused, but I'll give your theory due consideration.


 * Player: Anything you could offer in the way of advice, my feline friend?
 * Cat: Well, the obvious path is clearly a trap and that hole over there is very interesting.
 * Player: Interesting enough to go in and have a look?
 * Cat: I'll look inside and check it for you, on the off chance that there's a nice place to have a nap.
 * Player: No, come back!
 * Cat: Too late now. I'm off.


 * Player: Anything you could offer in the way of advice, my feline friend?
 * Cat: Everything looks suspicious in here, but I have some special advice from special sources.
 * Player: Special sources?
 * Cat: He is content to act as an anonymous force for your preservation on this occasion, and that's not something he does often. You must have impressed him in the past.
 * Player: Sometimes I feel that the action goes on behind the scenes in the desert.
 * Cat: That's much the case here, too. The information I have for you is threefold. Firstly, you can avoid or kill enemies as you see fit to start with. Secondly, you should examine the smallest details if you see seemingly unavoidable perils.
 * Player: Couldn't you give me direct instructions, for once? Just give me the third clue and let me ponder them all.
 * Cat: Thirdly, the guardians sometimes only appear if their minions are dead. That's your lot – I hope you enjoy it!

Catolax

 * Catolax: Woo woo.
 * Player: Now, where did I leave my amulet of ghostspeak?


 * Player: At last, I reach you. I was told that you could help me in a quest.
 * Catolax: Indeed I can. The master of the dead told me of your need.
 * Player: Master of the dead? I'm already a bit confused, so some clarifications would be handy.
 * Catolax: I am dead, so my appetite for conversation is not large. I will give you the knowledge, but will not submit to further examination. You already know the answers to your own questions.
 * You have a momentary insight, from a source that is completely unknown. You feel you know how to combine earmuffs with a Slayer face mask.


 * Catolax: Why must you pester me now? Combine your earmuffs and Slayer face mask, then go forth and rescue your damsel in distress. Anything more?
 * Player: Could you tell me what to expect during the rescue?
 * Catolax: Indeed I can, for it was there that I died, many years ago.
 * Player: Really? I'm sorry to hear that.
 * Catolax: It is no matter, as my life would have passed by now. As for the area beneath the well, it is the source of some creatures sought by slayers.
 * Player: I'd wondered where these came from, but I thought it was spontaneous generation, or something.
 * Catolax: Many of the perils of this world are there by design, not by accident. You will find, however, that much of the dungeon you intend to visit is sealed off. Only by successfully rescuing Jesmona and weakening the barriers will you be able to access the whole area.
 * Player: It sounds simple enough.
 * Catolax: Be warned, however, this Sumona might not be expecting for you to succeed. Also, there is a monstrous banshee there which has a scream capable of penetrating earmuffs, so you will simply have to tolerate its attacks. Luckily, the effect of this scream is more awkward than deadly in effect.
 * Player: I'm not after anything, in fact.

Many Thanks

 * Player: Hello, Ali. I made myself masked earmuffs, so I'm safe in that vile dungeon.
 * Ali Cat: Good for you. I hope the hunting is great down there. If only there were more mouse-sized monsters, I'd be heroic too.

Smoking Kills

 * The banshee's voice erupts in a final cry, then dissipates into nothingness. The barrier loses some of its stability and you can pass through. Your goal stands before you.
 * Player: What's going on here, then?
 * Jesmona: Save me!
 * Insectoid Assassin: This woman belongs to us now and we shall not free her. No puny adventurer can interfere.
 * Player: Free her or face my righteous wrath!
 * Banshee Mistress: Eeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah!


 * Player: Once more, I am victorious and save the day.
 * Jesmona: It is over. Now burn in the hell of your abject failure.
 * Insectoid Assassin: No mi-
 * Jesmona: You too have failed me.
 * Insectoid Assasin 2: Spare me!
 * Jesmona: My shackles! Now, freedom is mine. I am rescued, it seems. My sister will deal with this.
 * Player: Now I really am confused.
 * Catolax: My heartfelt thanks, adventurer. With the death of the banshee mistress, my soul is freed.
 * Player: Can you tell me what just happened, though?
 * Catolax: You have thwarted an attempt upon your life by the scourge of the desert lands. Her power will now be lessened once more. Fortunately for you, you have a promise of a reward, so will be safe from her vengeance. As I only answered your direct questions, I too will be able to exist without her torments. Only she loses.
 * Player: That's a bit less confusing, but what about the book and the vanishing twin?
 * Catolax: The book granted my murderess powers over the creatures here. I am sure that its destruction was simply to deny you its powers. As for the sister, I am sure you have realised that such a twin is far too convenient to actually exist. Now, my power to contact you through your mind is fading, as the immediacy of your victory passes. Once you have spoken with Sumona, I will await you below the well. Talk with me there if you have more questions.

Ali Cat

 * Ali Cat: Word on the street is that you rescued the damsel and are due a hefty reward.
 * Player: That's what I'm hoping.
 * Ali Cat: Well, she's the sort to keep her promises, so you should be fine. Don't expect her to be gracious about it, though.
 * Player: I'll bear that in mind.

Sumona

 * Player: I rescued your sister or, at least, it seems she escaped. I assume you have some sort of psychic link and know that she is safe.
 * Sumona: Yes, of course. I am delighted, happy, ecstatic.
 * Player: I'll have some questions afterwards, but do I get a nice reward? You swore, quite definitely, to recompense me.
 * Sumona: As you seem so good at killing things, I can give you some of these 'Slayer tasks' I hear about. I can even offer rewards if you kill enough to please me. My powers are such that you will be able to explore the areas beyond the barriers, down below the well, since I have weakened them for you.
 * Player: Thanks. I hope you weren't too distressed by the whole affair.
 * Sumona: Oh, I was more heartbroken than you can ever comprehend.

Sumona

 * Sumona: 'Ello. I'm a Slayer master now.
 * Player: I need another assignment.
 * Player: Do you have anything for trade?
 * Player: I am here to discuss any rewards that I might be eligible for.
 * Player: I have some questions about your sister.
 * Sumona: There's not much to say. She's back in a safe place, where no one will see her again.
 * Player: She started incinerating things when I freed her, and she said some pretty odd things. I'd prefer it if you gave me some answers.
 * Sumona: Am I my sister's keeper? Some things must remain a mystery, known only to the gods.
 * Player: I'd like to know about the inhabitants of the dungeons.
 * Sumona: They are monsters, so they are fit only for slaying. With no thoughts of an afterlife, they live a simple life of kill and be killed. You should strive for such an existence, for therein lies happiness.
 * Player: That's quite a grim philosophy.
 * Player: Why are you so shifty when I talk about your sister?
 * Sumona: Shifty? Me? I'm protecting her and leaving no clues to her location.
 * Player: But why not tell me?
 * Sumona: There has already been a kidnap attempt and there may be another. Now, I shall be silent, in case I reveal too much.
 * Player: The barriers in the dungeon confuse me.
 * Sumona: Well, they should be mostly passable. I weakened them for you after you rescued Jesmona. You should be able to sate your destructive appetite upon these creatures.
 * Player: I'm not after anything, in fact.
 * Player: Er, nothing.

Ali Cat

 * Ali Cat: So, you've finished Sumona's mission and you're now using her to your advantage. Well done.
 * Player: Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that.
 * Ali Cat: Oh, but I would. Using folk who think they're superior, but you know are not, is a useful life skill. You're becoming ever more feline, which is a good thing – trust me.
 * Player: I think that was a compliment, so thanks.